I've Never Read Discworld

"A lot's going on there" - PJMoist von Lipwig is charged with resurrecting Ankh-Morpork's Post Office: a task that brings him into conflict with powerful men, the clacks, and his own a/morality. Belfast writers and UU students PJ Hart and Andy Luke gather at the depot to discuss Moist's motivations and mise-en-scene, Vetinari's tactics, the negative power of storytelling, the expanding Discworld, biting the horizon, old people getting married, enshittification, secret orders, and late stage capitalism. Heavy package!00:00:00 Introduction - First Impressions00:17:44 The Angel - The Post Office - Our Own Hand, Or None00:39:29 A Sign - Lost In The Post - Little Pictures01:06:39 Tomb of Words - Post Haste - Bonfire01:23:49 The Burning of Words - Mission Statement01:41:34 The Woodpecker - The Edge of the Envelope - Deliverance02:07:06 Final Thoughts - Fave Scenes - Quotes - OutroBig thanks to our patrons: Sonia Thuerry, Andrew Bolster, Donal Fallon, Bryce Goodall, Katie Marshall, Alex C., Amanda Rodriguez, Shell, Dave Cromie, Matt Saunders, Alan Rowell, Benjamin Stone, Arsalan Haider Ali and particularly Ian Lawther who also goes halvers on our Zoom bill.Shout-out to our social media champions Ben and Elizabeth of the Pratchat Podcast; David Curtis and Mike AKA JarrakStuff to check outThe very industrious @AndrewLuke YouTube channelPJ Hart's small sweet @outboundlight YouTube channelAndy's Patreon (early access!) https://patreon.com/andyluke PJ's 'The Divil's Own' (BBC Sounds/Illumination podcast) https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4Andy's Coastlines After Dark https://books2read.com/coastlinesafterdark

"Witches deal with things. Never stand between two mirrors. Never cackle. Do what you must do. Never lie, but you don’t always have to be honest."PJ and Andy return from holidays ("holli-bops") and brave the heatwave to talk witchery in adolescence, savagery, vulnerability. It's The Hiver versus Tiffany Aching and The Wee Free Men versus the bottle. A Hat Full of Sky and the power of authenticity.00:00:00 Overview00:14:14 Part 1: Fairies and How To Avoid Them (intro, ch.1-2)00:32:20 Part 2: The PLN (ch.3-7)00:48:42 Part 3: The Secret Land (ch.8-10)01:05:50 Part 4: Arthur (ch.11-15)01:22:50 Fave scenes and quotes01:33:00 That Soul Music animationBig thanks to our patrons: Sonia Thuerry, Andrew Bolster, Donal Fallon, Bryce Goodall, Katie Marshall, Alex C., Amanda Rodriguez, Shell, Dave Cromie, Matt Saunders, Alan Rowell, Benjamin Stone, Arsalan Haider Ali and particularly Ian Lawther who also goes halvers on our Zoom bill.Shout-out to our social media champions Ben and Elizabeth of the Pratchat Podcast; David Curtis and Mike AKA JarrakStuff to check outThe very industrious @AndrewLuke YouTube channelPJ Hart's small sweet @outboundlight YouTube channelAndy's Patreon (early access!) https://patreon.com/andyluke PJ's 'The Divil's Own' (BBC Sounds/Illumination podcast) https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4Andy's Coastlines After Dark https://books2read.com/coastlinesafterdarkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuQo8HL1aGwCaption: https://captionfestival.co.uk/ and @captioncomicfestCaption Videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8hyHAFCAecD8UpGxv6wr59eKaNs-A_Mz

For optimal experience YouTube or Spotify Vids. Newbie Andrew Luke and The Watch's PJ Hart react and review the 1997 Cosgrove Hall series introducing Susan and The Band With Rocks In. Hear PJ erupt in glee at the lines given to Christopher Lee as Death. Andy goes giggly with the faculty at the university. And why does Hibiscus of The Drum holds a particular fascination for the hosts? Fatherrrr!00:00:00 Intro00:07:39 Ep. 1 React00:15:37 Ep. 1 Review00:26:46 Ep. 2 React00:33:50 Ep. 2 Review00:41:44 Ep. 3 React00:48:25 Ep. 3 Review00:56:40 Ep. 4 React01:03:20 Ep. 4 Review01:09:55 Ep. 5 React01:17:39 Ep. 5 Review01:26:08 Ep. 6 React01:34:34 Ep. 6 Review01:41:58 Ep. 7 React01:48:08 Ep. 7 + Series ReviewBig thanks to our patrons: Sonia Andree, Richard Huang, Andrew Bolster, Donal Fallon, Bryce Goodall, Alex C., Amanda Rodriguez, Shell, Dave Cromie, Matt Saunders, Alan Rowell, Benjamin Stone, Arsalan Haider Ali and particularly Ian Lawther who also goes halvers on our Zoom bill.Shout-out to our social media champions Ben and Elizabeth of the Pratchat Podcast; David Curtis and Mike AKA JarrakStuff to check outThe very industrious @AndrewLuke YouTube channelPJ Hart's small sweet @outboundlight YouTube channelAndy's Patreon (early access!) https://patreon.com/andyluke PJ's 'The Divil's Own' (BBC Sounds/Illumination podcast) https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4Andy's Coastlines After Dark https://books2read.com/coastlinesafterdark

"This book proves JK Rowling is a grifter."Pratchett's trans novel about soldiering comes under observation by Sgt. Hart and Pvt. Luke as they consider themes of identity, deception, family, and war, oh this stupid war. It's a really good show so get to it. Ten-Hut!Big thanks to our patrons: Sonia Andree, Richard Huang, Andrew Bolster, Donal Fallon, Bryce Goodall, Alex C., Amanda Rodriguez, Shell, Dave Cromie, Matt Saunders, Alan Rowell, Benjamin Stone, Arsalan Haider Ali and particularly Ian Lawther who also goes halvers on our Zoom bill.Shout-out to our social media champions Ben and Elizabeth of the Pratchat Podcast; David Curtis and Mike AKA JarrakStuff to check outThe very industrious @AndrewLuke YouTube channelPJ Hart's small sweet @outboundlight YouTube channelAndy's Patreon (early access!) https://patreon.com/andyluke PJ's 'The Divil's Own' (BBC Sounds/Illumination podcast) https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4Andy's Coastlines After Dark https://books2read.com/coastlinesafterdark

"Transgressive children's literature" - Andy

"That's your Carnegie Medal right there" - PJ

Andy and PJ both have their first go-around with this book, chasing after Maurice, Darktan and the clan to figure out the themes, the mysteries and how the Rat King would work as an X-Men villain.

Andy talks life as an owner of three dozen gerbils, and which of them have names inspired by Pratchett, and this book in particular. Take a look at the gerbils on the YouTube and Spotify video variants.

Listenings: https://pod.link/1645420990

Watchings: https://youtube.com/@DiscworldGNU

Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/discworldgnu.bsky.social

Facebook: https://facebook.com/discworldgnu

Andy's YouTube: https://youtube.com/@UCZSWNQIJ5CNZuRH6XLPcm0w

Andy's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/andyluke

I've Never Read Discworld is written, hosted and produced by PJ Hart and Andrew Luke.

Terry Pratchett and Paul Kidby team up for an illustrated Discworld novel assembling some of Ankh-Morpork's largest characters. It's the first time for Andy and PJ exploring this book. Prose twists and lavish illustrations give us a rocketship powered by dragons, a madman with a nuclear device, all the gods, and events that will change the Discworld forever maybe.00:00 Introduction12:54 Part 1. "The last hero ought to return what the first hero stole."The Patrician assembles Ankh-Morpork's greatest minds - and Rincewind - to tackle the problem at Cori Celesti. Cohen has decided to blow up the gods and has kidnapped a bard to help.28:05 Part 2. Morituri Nolumus Mori ('We who are about to die but don't want to')Evil Harry and Vena the Raven-Haired join the quest. But each realise they have maps on scrolls, found in places they'd expect to be found. Death wrestles with Shrodinger's Cat. While priests and gods argue Carrot sews, Leonard mixes dragon food and Rincewind trains.47:16 Part 3. 'Ankh-Morpork, we have an orangutan...'With the privy assembled the crew of The Kite launch towards the circumference. Low supplies of air require a landing on the moon. The Horde climb the heights, pausing to consider heroism, ballads, The Tsortean knot and the taste of chicken (squid)58:27 Part 4. 'And you're the muse of swearing?'The Horde play dress up to enter Dunmanifestin where Fate challenges Cohen to a roll of the die. Rincewind flies The Kite but it comes more easily to The Librarian. Carrot tries an arrest. Mad Hamish's wheelchair makes a heroic sacrifice. Blind Io delivers his judgement. Cohen horse-jacks the valkyries and Leonard's painting causes a stir back in Ankh-Morpork.Listenings: https://pod.link/1645420990Watchings: https://youtube.com/@DiscworldGNUBluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/discworldgnu.bsky.socialFacebook: https://facebook.com/discworldgnuAndy's YouTube: https://youtube.com/@UCZSWNQIJ5CNZuRH6XLPcm0w Andy's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/andylukeI've Never Read Discworld is written, hosted and produced by PJ Hart and Andrew Luke.*Our other Bigjobs*SPECIAL PLUGSAUDIOThe Divil’s Own: folklore pod doc https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001yhg4Last Dance: a Dark Fantasy audio drama podcast https://rustyquill.com/show/last-danceVIDEOSThe Gang Blackface Whitewash https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNpq6zo1ozYCountry Rogues: comedy short film https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0022d39/comedy-shorts-series-1-2-country-roguesHelp - 360 VR Short Film https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41T4Si5fPJsSociological Fiction (released 13 August) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mr2MlQPnFSsBOOKSCoastlines After Dark https://books2read.com/coastlinesafterdarkAnother Time https://books2read.com/anothertime

"The significant owl hoots in the night."

Scriptwriter PJ Hart and comics creator/journalist Andy Luke settle down for a read of a Pratchett classic adapted by Stephen Briggs and Graham Higgins. Well I say settle down: they're as excited as The Bursar missing his frog pills. Get ready to revisit the introduction of the Watch and Ankh-Morpork in the time of the dragon. Join us to ask two very important questions: what is in Dibbler's sausages, and... what is Nobby?

00:00:00 Overview: Vimes gerbil; the covers; Belfast FPI

00:18:31 Part 1: Carrot; the Brethern; the dragon

00:30:58 Part 2: Dibbler; and Vimes in a pink nightie

00:46:33 Part 3: The King is dead; long live the dragon

00:57:58 Part 4: I suppose a dartboard would be out of the question?

01:08:26 Conclusions: The expanded Discworld; bright spots; prolific plugs

"Carrot is like Superman" - Andy "Vetinari is like Lex Luthor" - PJ Andy charts his loss of Disc virginity with a five-function diary and PJ reports in on his first time with the Feet of Clay audiobook. The most important man in the city has been poisoned and there's everything to play for. We rave and rant on golems, technology, the working class struggle, trans experiences, gender metaphors, relationships, class, and the psychogeography of Ankh-Morpork. We've got good at this. Deep dives into Cheri, Vimes, Angua and Carrot. Take a drink every time PJ says Jon Culshaw.

‘That’s basically all of opera, reely.’ ‘What? Either dyin’ or drinkin’ beer?’ ‘We-ll…there might be some other stuff. But mostly it’s stout or stabbin.’ The witches return to Ankh-Morpork and a series of killings at the opera house. City Guide PJ Hart leads the way through PTerry's world of ghosts, Greebo and cootie dumplings. First-timer Andy Luke brings his knowledge of operatic motifs and shares a surprising anecdote about the consequences of reading Maskerade, and singing about it. We're on Twitter at https://twitter.com/@discworldgnu Check out Andy's YouTube channel at @AndrewLuke PJ's production, John Meagher: The Divil's Own https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4 Help support the channel at https://patreon.com/andyluke . If you'd like a free trial preview of my Patreon sign up and sign off before the 1st of the month. No hard feelings. Its loaded with prose fic, original comics, poetry, video and podcast previews and more. Usually updated 6 times a month. Thanks to Andy's patrons Ordained Preachers: Sonia Andree, Richard Huang, Ljerka Jemric, Andrew Bolster Company Men: Amanda Rodriguez, Claire Dickson, Dave Cromie and Nerdgeist Philanthropists: Andrew Gallagher, Ian Lawther, Alan Rowell, benchilada Polymath-maker: Arsalan Haider Ali 33rd Degree Bounder of Highest Order: Art K

Two old infirm teachers who who have never read Interesting Times pack up their luggage and head for the Counterweight Continent. In a tale of cowardice and conquest Rincewind Redux comes under the spotlight and runs away from it quickly on a hunt for potatoes. The Silver Horde consider silverware. PJ shares his experiences living and working in Asia. Andy's hard line on avoiding spoilers pays off big time. And we talk all that boring political stuff that you, lets face it, tune in for, probably.

We're on Twitter at https://twitter.com/@discworldgnu Check out Andy's YouTube channel at @AndrewLuke PJ's production, John Meagher: The Divil's Own https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4 Help support the channel at https://patreon.com/andyluke . If you'd like a free trial preview of my Patreon sign up and sign off before the 1st of the month. No hard feelings. Its loaded with prose fic, original comics, poetry, video and podcast previews and more. Usually updated 6 times a month. Thanks to Andy's patrons Ordained Preachers: Sonia Andree, Richard Huang, Ljerka Jemric, Andrew Bolster Company Men: Amanda Rodriguez, Claire Dickson, Dave Cromie and Nerdgeist Philanthropists: Andrew Gallagher, Ian Lawther, Alan Rowell, benchilada Polymath-maker: Arsalan Haider Ali 33rd Degree Bounder of Highest Order: Art K

"The music is alive!" Join us in the green room for a chat about rats music and rockabilly with Ridcully. Rock Dibbler's Cash Bar and roll his meat loaf! Newbie Andy plays up his theory of triquels. Old Hand PJ riffs on interconnectedness and the magic of music. Learn of our teenage misadventures in rock bands and all about Belfast's underground gig venues. It's live! This video is also available on Spotify, but that's cutting me own throat. Leave a comment and let us know how this book, or episode, makes you feel, and share your stories. SOCIALS https://twitter.com/discworldGNU https://facebook.com/discworldGNU https://www.patreon.com/andyluke HOST'S BIG PROJECTS The Devil's Own: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4 338 Seconds Doctor Who: https://youtube.com/@AndrewLuke MENTIONED IN CHAT PTerry on Soul Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yWN55Ltgv8 The Broken Drum 8-Bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vx7aYDgkjmo

Diversity. Gonne. Fireworks. Conscripted. Dartboard. Two working Northern Irish writers: Andy Luke, a newcomer to Ankh-Morpork, and PJ Hart, who knows his way round, and MEN AT ARMS, which sees a killer on the loose and massive changes to the Nights Watch. It's a heavy episode measuring Terry Pratchett's fun and innovation against the depths of policing reform, diversity hiring, wolves and identity politics, struggles against the gig economy and the DWP. So get ready to embrace dwarf culture, Leonardo Da Vinci's multitasking and remember, the I've Never Read Discworld podcast now accepts sponsorships from coffee companies. The Clown Face Registry of the UK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc9OcUrU8Bw Twitter: https://twitter.com/discworldGNU Facebook: https://facebook.com/discworld GNU Andy's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/andyluke Andy's YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/@andrewluke PJ's upcoming BBC Radio 4 show: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4

"The Turtle Moves."

WITNESS: as Andy is converted to Small Gods. PRAY: for PJ, refugee from religion's archives. TESTIFY: Small Gods is the novel connecting Grant Morrisson, Deadliest Catch and Geoffrey Chaucer. PRAISE BE to Terry

L-Space: https://www.lspace.org/books/apf/small-gods.html

Andy's YouTube: https://youtube.com/@andrewluke

Small Gods audio, c. BBC.

30 second excerpt in accordance with Fair Use policies.

20 years after first messaging online, hosts Andy and PJ meet for the very first time. We interview biographer and comedian Marc Burrows, in Belfast, to debut his 2024 UK tour for 'The Magic of Pratchett'. We review Marc's show, (highly recommended), and talk about its effects on our own reading journeys. And whambam, a follow-up to 'Casting Couch' as we go through reader suggestions! Get a ticket for Marc's live show: https://www.marcburrows.co.uk/live-dates Buy The Magic of Terry Pratchett: https://www.marcburrows.co.uk/s/shop Support our podcast at https://patreon.com/andyluke

Who would you cast in your Discworld TV show? PJ and Andy drop the script and open up their imaginations. Listenings: https://anchor.fm/iveneverreaddiscworld Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/discworldGNU Facebook: https://facebook.com/discworld GNU Andy's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/andyluke

"Stories are broken to be made." Terry Pratchett's Witches Abroad is a road trip from The Ramtops, a book about nothing, to Genua, where it all kicks off. Two Northern Irish writers explore a story about stories with the passion of Nanny Ogg, people like her often found in pairs. Newb Andy packs an armoury of props, and PJ knocks back a lot of absinthe. Climb aboard! Listenings: https://anchor.fm/iveneverreaddiscworld Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/discworldGNU Facebook: https://facebook.com/discworld GNU Andy's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/andyluke Talking Heads: Papa Legba, re-recorded version from the film True Stories (1986) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u21-p4sTz4w

"Stan Lee IS Dibbler!" An epic episode for an epic novel. Terry Pratchett pulls on the thread linking King Kong, Gone with the Wind, and Star Trek. Andy loads up with props. PJ swims in film history. Special guest Zach Brown provides linking narration, and there's visuals from designer Kathryn Rosa Miller. Join us, IN A WORLD GONE MAD!!! Links Reach out to us at: https://twitter.com/discworldgnu Zach Brown: https://www.the-voice-guy.com/ Kathryn Rosa Miller: https://www.kathrynrosamiller.com/post/cover-thoughts-discworld Andy's Politics Aloud: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/politics-aloud Andy's Patreon: https://patreon.com/andyluke

"We were told by American preachers in the 80s that Satan was out to get us because... he loved us, loved our souls for loyalty points or diddling or something."

A deep dive into the life and work of Josh Kirby kicks off two Belfast writers considering Eric. So that's seeing time and space, where history meets myth, office hell, and the power of Discworld in domesticity. Which came first: the chicken or the egg sandwich? PJ considers cause and effect, and Andy explains how you can get a radiator key.

Read more about Josh Kirby at Liverpool Museums: https://www.liverpoolmuseums.org.uk/whatson/walker-art-gallery/exhibition/out-of-world-art-of-josh-kirby and https://www.joshkirbyart.com/

Come say hi on Twitter @discworldgnu

"Are you looking forward to the coronation, PJ?"

"I'm looking forward to the dragon."

In which we discuss the familial unit of The Watch as cine noir, police procedural, and post-Python genius. We gush! Bring up the video to see the original artefact related to PJ's tulips story, and Andy's hyper-expressive arm movements for a book he didn't want to finish. You know the password, right?

"It's the old ways versus the new. We've all been there. Raging against our parents and raging against the way things are, when we know things should be different." - PJ

In which PJ and Andy consider home and away through the lens of Egyptian-themed city, Djelibeybi. Names are mispronounced. Time itself is interrogated. Questions are asked about the weight of tradition, and the nature of power.

Come find us on Twitter and Facebook @DiscworldGNU

Email at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com

"All. Out. Thamaturgical. War."

Newbie Andy opens with a shocking revelation but ultimately plays second banana to Discworldly P.J. and his first reading at how Sir Terry's arm's a-gettin' fits into the Disc-curriculum. Drinking at the Drum there's strong use of the F-word (Fantasy) in chatter about life during wartime, university modernisation, domestic abuse and climate crisis. Ook!

Pratchett at Queen's University UNICON 1989 https://www.facebook.com/groups/belfastsciencefiction/posts/6182301498460625/

Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com

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"The moment were Discworld arrives." - PJ

Interrogating Pratchett's classic fan-favourite, the Belfast-casters consider Mort and the outsider perspective, greasy spoons, and how reality looks. PJ waxes lyrical on the rejection of death and body issues. Andy is contrary on everything from big man theory to plot-stuffing, armoured with a statement on how he's probably right.

“She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you.”

A couple of old white men try to talk gender politics without embarrassing themselves, while one of them is wearing a witches hat. Also introducing: Andy's Tree Time!

Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com
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The Whispering Trees, Smithsonian Magazine https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/the-whispering-trees-180968084/
How trees secretly talk to each other, BBC https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/science-environment-44643177

"I was doing some really explanatory hand gestures there for somebody who wasn't watching the video."

In a special bonus episode, we get into adaptations of The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic. Andy opens a big pack from the Discworld Emporium and talks about the series' place in early 90s comics; and PJ goes full-geek on the 2008 Sky TV movies and his love for David Bradley.

The Spotify/YouTube video version of this cast is recommended for a full immersive experience.

Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com

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 Discworld Emporium: https://www.discworldemporium.com/

'Terry Pratchett inspired the GoBots!'

In which Andy has many quotes and sticky notes, and PJ talks about his childhood memories of Discworld. Fairytale realism is discussed, and how Bethan,  Cohen and Herenna overturn fantasy tropes. We wonder if all the wizards are Tories, and consider the apocalypticism of the Disc's red scare.

Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com

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https://facebook.com/discworld GNU

https://www.reddit.com/r/discworld/comments/xio7u7/as_promised_the_first_episode_of_ive_never_read/

https://guild.pratchatpodcast.com/index.php?title=I%E2%80%99ve_Never_Read_Discworld

Cover art by Tahir at https://www.fiverr.com/j_graphics12

'It's the fantasy version of The Wire.'

Experienced wizard PJ Hart guides the tourist Andy Luke through the first book in Terry Pratchett's world: a world supported on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown); from the docks to taverns of Ankh-Morpork, to forests, temples and the edge of the world.

Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com

Linkage: https://www.lspace.org/

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