Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

By Luke Gordon with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

Beyond the Facade explores authenticity, healing, and recovery from betrayal trauma, sexual addiction, and infidelity. Host Luke Gordon (men's program director at Choose Recovery Services and founder of Blueprint Institute) and his guests share tools for addiction recovery, relationship repair, and emotional healing. Learn to rebuild trust, live with integrity, and create authentic connections as you heal from pain and go Beyond the Facade.
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56: Understanding Entitlement vs. Authentic Needs

Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint InstituteJun 12, 2025
00:00
34:24
110: Scott and Lela's Story: Four D-Days and the Search for Real Recovery (Part 1)

110: Scott and Lela's Story: Four D-Days and the Search for Real Recovery (Part 1)

What if confession, accountability, sobriety, and marriage counseling still weren't enough?

Scott and Lela experienced four D-Days and repeatedly believed that things would finally be different—only to find themselves back in the same cycle.

In Part 1 of their story, they openly discuss pornography and compulsive sexual behavior, secrecy, betrayal trauma, marriage counseling, 12-step recovery, gaslighting, shame, and the devastating impact repeated disclosures had on their relationship.

Most importantly, they begin to uncover a critical distinction: stopping the behavior isn't necessarily the same thing as addressing what drives it.

This is the story of what wasn't working. Come back next week for Part 2 where we will explore the changes that finally helped them heal.

Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.

  • Choose Recovery Services helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change.

  • Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men working to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change.

We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of. 

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. Nov 8-11 in Spanish Fork, UT

  • Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.  

  • Rise, Renew, Restore - women’s retreat in Bali in April 2027 - Join us in beautiful Bali for an unforgettable blend of deep somatic healing, soulful connection, luxury, adventure, and restorative experiences designed to help you release what’s heavy and reconnect with your joy.

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals and couples.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

  • Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 


Aug 27, 202652:46
109: Entitlement in Recovery: How Your Needs Can Impact Your Partner - with Scott Blundo

109: Entitlement in Recovery: How Your Needs Can Impact Your Partner - with Scott Blundo

What does entitlement actually look like in recovery?

It doesn't always sound like, “I deserve more than you.” Sometimes it sounds much quieter: “My needs should make sense to you.”

This week Luke Gordon sits down with fellow recovery coach, Scott Blundo, to explore one of the more difficult pieces of recovery from compulsive sexual behavior: recognizing entitlement and understanding how it can affect the people we love.

Listen to learn: 

  • What entitlement is and how it shows up in relationships

  • The connection between entitlement, helplessness, and empathy

  • How to recognize and begin changing entitlement patterns

Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.

  • Choose Recovery Services helps individuals heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change.

  • Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men wanting to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change.

We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of. 

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper, reconnect with yourself, and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/awakening-the-man-within/

  • Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.  

  • Rise, Renew, Restore - women’s retreat in Bali in April 2027 - Join us in beautiful Bali for an unforgettable blend of deep somatic healing, soulful connection, luxury, adventure, and restorative experiences designed to help you release what’s heavy and reconnect with your joy.

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals and couples.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

  • Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 


Aug 20, 202640:38
108: When Her Healing Feels Like She's Leaving: Differentiation in Betrayal Recovery - with Tyler Patrick

108: When Her Healing Feels Like She's Leaving: Differentiation in Betrayal Recovery - with Tyler Patrick

After betrayal, it's common for fear to take over. Your partner starts going back to school, developing friendships, investing in themself, or rebuilding an identity outside the relationship, and suddenly you're thinking: They're preparing to leave me.

This week, Luke Gordon talks with licensed marriage and family therapist Tyler Patrick about betrayal recovery, differentiation, shame, fear of abandonment, and rebuilding relationships after infidelity.

They explore what it means to:

  • Give your partner “wings” instead of holding them back
  • Support differentiation after betrayal
  • Stop letting shame dictate your behavior
  • Regulate fear and anxiety during relationship uncertainty
  • Build a life rooted in integrity and authenticity


Connect with Tyler Patrick: website & Therapy Brothers podcast

Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.

  • Choose Recovery Services helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change.

  • Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men wanting to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change.

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.

  • Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.

  • Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.  

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals and couples.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

  • Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

Aug 13, 202633:19
107: Why Accountability Isn't Enough for Lasting Recovery

107: Why Accountability Isn't Enough for Lasting Recovery

Most people believe accountability is the key to lasting recovery.

But what if accountability is only the beginning?

This week, Luke Gordon explores one of the biggest misconceptions in addiction recovery: the belief that honesty alone creates transformation.

You'll learn:

  • Why accountability matters

  • Where accountability stops

  • What actually creates lasting change

  • How emotional regulation changes recovery

  • Why healing requires more than honesty

  • The difference between support and transformation

Chapters

  • 00:01 Crutches Analogy

  • 02:08 Defining Accountability

  • 04:27 Deeper Work Beyond Crutches

  • 05:10 Window of Tolerance

  • 07:22 Keep Going

Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.

We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of. 

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.

  • Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Luke:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

  • Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Learn more about Blueprint Institute’s residential immersion program at https://blueprint-institute.com

Aug 06, 202610:55
106: What's Really Underneath Sexual Acting Out? With Sammy Uyama

106: What's Really Underneath Sexual Acting Out? With Sammy Uyama

Sexual acting out isn't always about sex.

Sometimes it's about loneliness. Sometimes it's about validation. Sometimes it's about trying to feel alive.

Luke Gordon and recovery coach Sammy Uyama unpack the emotional needs underneath compulsive sexual behavior and explain why understanding those needs is essential for lasting recovery.

If you've ever wondered why relapse keeps happening—even when motivation is high—this episode may completely change how you think about healing.

Book a session with Sammy. 

Chapters

  • 01:19 Meet Sammy

  • 04:22 Need #1: Connection

  • 17:08 Need #2: Validation

  • 20:07 Need #3: Aliveness

  • 25:15 Need #4: Comfort

Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.

We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of. 

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.

  • Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed.

  • FREE monthly workshop: 1-hour Zoom workshop where Beth provides a safe space for connection, reflection, and simple process art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity. 

  • 6-Week Group: Each week we’ll explore a theme from Rick Hanson’s book Resilience and pair it with simple art exercises.

Connect With Luke:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

  • Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Learn more about Blueprint Institute’s residential immersion program at https://blueprint-institute.com


Jul 30, 202629:27
105: Are You a Validation Junkie? How Approval Addiction Destroys Authenticity

105: Are You a Validation Junkie? How Approval Addiction Destroys Authenticity

Are you constantly looking for approval from other people?

This week Luke Gordon and guest Ryan Collins explore what it means to become a validation junkie—someone whose identity depends on the opinions, approval, and acceptance of others.

Together they discuss:

  • Why validation feels addictive

  • How people pleasing destroys authenticity

  • The connection between shame and approval seeking

  • Why marriage doesn't fix unhealthy validation patterns

Chapters

  • 03:45 Integrity - Steele vs Noodle

  • 05:50 Ryan on Being Called Out

  • 09:08 Validation as a Drug

  • 14:22 Impact on Marriage

  • 20:48 Fear of Disappointing Others

  • 23:37 Validation vs Integrity

  • 27:29 Owning the Cost

  • 30:42 Building Integrity Skills

Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.

We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of. 

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.

  • Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed.

  • FREE monthly workshop: 1-hour Zoom workshop where Beth provides a safe space for connection, reflection, and simple process art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity. 

  • 6-Week Group: Designed for those moving through the impact of betrayal trauma and wanting a grounded, compassionate space to rebuild trust in themselves. Each week we’ll explore a theme from Rick Hanson’s book Resilience and pair it with simple art exercises.

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive webinar.

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

  • Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Learn more about Blueprint Institute’s residential immersion program at https://blueprint-institute.com


Jul 23, 202639:31
104: Recovery Doesn't Fail at Relapse--It Fails Long Before That

104: Recovery Doesn't Fail at Relapse--It Fails Long Before That

Recovery isn't won in the moment you resist temptation—it begins long before the urge ever appears.

This week Luke Gordon explores why relapse is rarely an isolated event. Instead, acting outside your values is often the final step in a much longer emotional cycle involving stress, loneliness, shame, insecurity, and unresolved discomfort.

You'll learn why your brain isn't trying to ruin your life—it is trying to solve emotional pain using familiar patterns. More importantly, you'll discover how learning to tolerate discomfort instead of escaping it becomes the foundation of lasting recovery.

Chapters

  • 01:49 Relapse Starts Earlier

  • 03:01 Familiar Over Healthy

  • 04:33 Relief vs Healing

  • 06:14 Tolerating Discomfort

  • 08:05 Flood Irrigation Metaphor

  • 10:31 Tools for Regulation

  • 12:30 Track Emotions, Not Behaviors

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.

  • Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 


Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

  • Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Jul 16, 202616:33
103: Why Knowing Better Doesn't Always Mean Doing Better

103: Why Knowing Better Doesn't Always Mean Doing Better

Many people spend years reading books, listening to podcasts, attending therapy, and understanding addiction. Yet they still feel stuck.

This week Luke and Alana explain why information alone never creates transformation—and what actually does.

You'll learn:

  • Why insight feels good but doesn’t change behavior

  • The uncomfortable “growth zone”

  • How emotional awareness rewires recovery

  • Why habits matter more than motivation

  • How integration creates lasting healing

Chapters

  • 01:35 The Recovery Expert Trap

  • 02:25 Swimming Lessons

  • 05:37 Insight vs Practice

  • 07:24 Repetition

  • 11:15 Integration

  • 15:13 Systems

  • 18:46 Compassion As You Try to Change

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 


Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to podcast@chooserecoveryservices.com

Watch us on YouTube.

Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services

Schedule a complimentary consultation.

Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.

More from Choose Recovery Services


Jul 02, 202624:17
102: This Isn't an Addiction Problem - It's an Emotional Awareness Problem

102: This Isn't an Addiction Problem - It's an Emotional Awareness Problem

Most men were never taught how to identify their emotions—and that missing skill can quietly fuel addiction, disconnection, and destructive coping patterns.

This week Luke explores why emotional awareness is one of the most important foundations of recovery. You'll discover why thoughts aren't feelings, why behavior management isn't enough, and how learning to recognize emotions can interrupt the cycle of compulsive behaviors.

Listen to learn:

  • Why "I'm fine" isn't an emotion

  • How emotional distress leads to acting out

  • Why shame and loneliness stay hidden

  • The real purpose of emotional awareness

  • A simple exercise to build emotional regulation

Recovery isn't just about stopping behaviors—it's about learning to understand what your emotions are trying to tell you.

Chapters

  • 01:33 Why Men Miss Emotions

  • 02:23 Thoughts vs Feelings

  • 04:59 Rocky III Fear Lesson

  • 8:04 Stop Asking Why

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.

  • Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

  • Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Jun 25, 202611:03
101: Why Am I Still Struggling Years Later?

101: Why Am I Still Struggling Years Later?

You've read the books. Gone to therapy. Joined groups. Learned the language of recovery. And yet, you're still stuck.

In this episode, we explore a painful question many men quietly carry:

"Why am I still struggling?"

This week we unpack why recovery isn't simply about trying harder—it may be about receiving the right level of support.

You'll discover:

  • Why insight alone doesn't create lasting change.

  • The difference between information and integration.

  • Signs that you may need a higher level of care.

  • Why white-knuckling isn't the same as healing.

  • How emotional regulation—not just behavior management—changes recovery.

If you've wondered whether you're broken or hopeless, this conversation offers another possibility:

Maybe nothing is wrong with you. Maybe it's time for a different level of help.

Chapters

  • 2:45 Why You Feel Stuck

  • 05:12 Integration

  • 07:05 Signs You Need More

  • 12:00 No Shame; More Support

  • 13:15 Do the Hard Thing

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

NEW Groups

  • Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

  • Know Your Story is a group for men who are ready to move beyond surface-level recovery and explore the experiences, beliefs, and patterns that have shaped their lives through guided writing exercises, reflection, and group discussion. Group starts June 22nd and runs for 14 weeks.

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Jun 18, 202616:46
100: Making Sense of His Behavior

100: Making Sense of His Behavior

What happens when the acting out stops—but everything still feels broken?

This week Luke and Scott Blundo (fellow Choose Recovery Services coach) explore the difference between sobriety and recovery.

Many betrayed partners expect life to improve once the behaviors stop. But recovery is far more than just abstinence.

You'll learn:

  • Why sobriety and recovery are not the same thing

  • Why emotions often intensify after acting out stops

  • The four key markers of genuine recovery

  • How accountability differs from shame and punishment

  • What betrayed partners can realistically expect during healing

Interested in learning more? Register for the Making Sense of His Behavior group starting soon at Choose Recovery Services.

Chapters

  • 01:39 Meet Scott

  • 04:20 Making Sense of His Behavior Course

  • 07:11 Sobriety vs Recovery

  • 09:54 When Things Get Worse

  • 16:54 Markers of Change

  • 25:04 Accountability

  • 32:34 Setbacks and Progress

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

NEW Groups

  • Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. 

  • Know Your Story is a group for men who are ready to move beyond surface-level recovery and explore the experiences, beliefs, and patterns that have shaped their lives through guided writing exercises, reflection, and group discussion. Group starts June 22nd and runs for 14 weeks.

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 


Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Jun 11, 202638:32
99: How to Spot an Emotionally Shut-Down Man Part 2

99: How to Spot an Emotionally Shut-Down Man Part 2

Why does an emotionally shut down man struggle to change—even when he genuinely wants to?

In this follow-up episode, Luke and Alana respond to listener questions about emotional shutdown, nervous system healing, and what recovery actually looks like for men who have spent years disconnecting from their emotions.

***Listen to Part 1 HERE.***

Together they explore:

  • Why insight alone doesn't create change

  • What emotional shutdown is really protecting

  • How attachment wounds shape adult relationships

  • Why some men become more emotional after starting recovery

  • What somatic work actually is

  • How nervous system healing creates lasting transformation

  • What emotional reconnection looks like in real life

Chapters

  • 01:45 Why Insight Isn’t Enough

  • 08:01 What Shutdown Protects

  • 12:12 Control and Safety

  • 16:17 Predictability Over Vulnerability

  • 20:05 Reconnecting Emotionally

  • 28:43 Somatic Work Explained

  • 30:04 Healing Takes Time

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • 🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Retreat is July 30-August 3.

  • Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

  • Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.

  • Know Your Story is a group for men who are ready to move beyond surface-level recovery and explore the experiences, beliefs, and patterns that have shaped their lives. Through guided writing exercises, reflection, and group discussion, participants create a personal narrative that helps them uncover the roots of shame, self-protection, and unhealthy behaviors. Group starts June 22nd and runs for 14 weeks.

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 


Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Jun 04, 202635:10
98: Are All CSAT Therapists the Same? What Actually Matters in Addiction Recovery - with Jacob Fletcher

98: Are All CSAT Therapists the Same? What Actually Matters in Addiction Recovery - with Jacob Fletcher

What actually makes a good CSAT therapist?

In this episode, Luke Gordon and Jacob Fletcher (CSAT and fellow Choose Recovery Services coach), unpack the major differences between recovery approaches in pornography addiction and compulsive sexual behavior treatment.

Many people spend years in recovery focused only on behavior and sobriety — yet still feel emotionally disconnected, ashamed, and unable to build intimacy.

This conversation explores:

  • Behavior-focused vs trauma-focused therapy

  • Why emotional regulation matters

  • The role of attachment wounds and shame

  • How relapse should actually be approached

  • Questions to ask when choosing a therapist

If you’ve struggled to feel real transformation in recovery, this episode may help you understand why.

Chapters

  • 02:04 Meet Jacob Fletcher

  • 04:27 Different CSAT Styles

  • 07:31 Behavior vs Somatic

  • 09:44 Questions to Ask

  • 14:32 Relapse Approach

  • 18:29 Dopamine Reset

  • 21:46 Balancing Both Models

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • 🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!

  • Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW 8-week group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Start the group at any time and stay for eight weeks.

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life


  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


May 28, 202629:15
97: How to Stay Connected to Your Kids After Betrayal

97: How to Stay Connected to Your Kids After Betrayal

When betrayal enters a family, children often carry invisible pain. This week Luke joins Amie and Alana on their podcast (Choose To Be) to talk about his personal experience with how to repair after betrayal.

Listen in as he shares what his experience was like trying to reconnect with his children and rebuild trust.

Listen to learn:

  • Why kids react strongly (and sometimes unexpectedly)

  • How betrayal trauma affects attachment and trust

  • What parents can do to rebuild safety and connection

  • The difference between supporting vs. overwhelming your child

If you want to learn more about helping children and teens heal after betrayal, listen to more episodes about this topic on the Choose To Be podcast: Part 1,  Part 2, and Part 3

Want a podcast dedicated to helping teens and children with betrayal? Tune in to Morgan Ellsworth’s podcast: Healing Betrayed Families

Chapters:

  • 04:11 Staying Grounded 

  • 09:43 Attunement and Vulnerability Goals

  • 13:20 Vulnerability Without Dumping

  • 19:01 Make It About the Kids

  • 23:07 When Kids Blame Mom

  • 27:31 Attachment and Love Bombing

  • 31:27 Validate Kids’ Reality

  • 37:06 Keep Showing Up

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • 🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!

  • Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW 8-week group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Start the group at any time and stay for eight weeks.

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life


  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


May 21, 202644:01
96: How to Spot an Emotionally Shut-Down Man

96: How to Spot an Emotionally Shut-Down Man

What does an emotionally shut down man actually look like?

Spoiler: Usually not what people think.

In this powerful conversation, Luke and Alana explore the hidden reality of emotional shutdown in men—especially the high-performing, successful men who appear “fine” on the outside but are deeply disconnected on the inside.

From avoidant attachment to compulsive behavior, emotional numbness, and relational loneliness, this episode helps both men and betrayed partners understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.

Healing is possible. Deeper connection is possible.

But first—you have to feel.

Chapters

  • 02:08 What Being Emotionally Shut Down Looks Like

  • 04:21 High Performing Shut down

  • 09:33 Inside the Shutdown

  • 12:59 Signs and Logic

  • 17:14 Learning Emotional Safety

  • 19:55 Tears and the Body

  • 22:21 Busy vs Stillness

  • 24:08 Chasing Intensity

  • 29:53 Numbness and Dissociation

  • 38:28 Individuation and Reconnection

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • 🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 


Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

May 14, 202643:36
95: Humility in Recovery: Why Men Protect Their Identity After Betrayal - with Ryan Collins

95: Humility in Recovery: Why Men Protect Their Identity After Betrayal - with Ryan Collins

What keeps men hiding — even after they’ve been caught?

In this powerful conversation, Luke Gordon and Ryan Collins, a peer mentor for Choose Recovery support groups, unpack the role humility plays in recovery from betrayal, addiction, shame, and relational disconnection.

Ryan vulnerably shares how fear, image protection, and shame kept him stuck in trickle truth for months — and how surrender and authenticity ultimately became the very thing that saved his marriage.

Together they explore:

  • The difference between humiliation and humility

  • Why men protect their identity after getting caught

  • How shame fuels defensiveness and trickle truth

  • Why accountability creates connection

  • How honesty became the very thing that saved Ryan’s marriage

  • The role of vulnerability, empathy, and surrender in healing

Chapters

  • 01:31 Meet Ryan

  • 03:49 Pillar One: Self Honesty

  • 07:59 Trickle Truth and Surrender

  • 12:25 Pillar Two: Being Influenced

  • 18:48 Accountability in Conflict

  • 22:24 Pillar Three: Identity Release

  • 29: 59 Freedom and Daily Practice

  • 32:45 Encouragement

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • 🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!

  • 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 


Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

May 07, 202636:26
94: Why You Feel Stuck: The Difference Between Sobriety and Real Change

94: Why You Feel Stuck: The Difference Between Sobriety and Real Change

Most men in recovery aren’t failing because they aren’t trying hard enough. They’re failing because they’re aiming at the wrong target.

In this episode, Luke sits down with Matt Wenger, MA, LPC, CCPS, CSAT and Executive Clinical Director at Begin Again Institute, to break down one of the biggest misunderstandings in sex addiction recovery: the difference between staying busy and actually healing.

They discuss:

  • What intensive treatment really does

  • Inpatient vs outpatient recovery

  • Why resentment quietly grows in early recovery

  • Why betrayed partners still don’t feel safe

  • How men move from sobriety into true recovery

If recovery feels like a hamster wheel, this conversation may explain why.

Chapters

  • 01:21 Introducing Matt Wenger

  • 04:43 Why Hard Work Stalls

  • 09:11 What Intensives Actually Do

  • 12:24 Two Weeks vs Longer Rehab

  • 17:02 Partner Expectations After Intensive

  • 21:54 Gym Metaphor for Recovery

  • 27:02 Choosing Quality Treatment

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

NEW at Choose Recovery Services!

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • 🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!

  • 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

  • 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Apr 30, 202636:54
93: Emotional Maturity in Recovery: How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding

93: Emotional Maturity in Recovery: How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding

You don’t need more information—you need a new response.

In this episode, Luke Gordon breaks down one of the most critical (and overlooked) skills in recovery: emotional maturity under pressure.

You’ll learn:

  • Why your body reacts before your mind can catch up

  • The real definition of emotional maturity (it’s not what you think)

  • How to create “the pause” that prevents damage in relationships

  • What responsibility actually looks like in real-time conflict

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, defensive, or out of control during hard conversations—this episode gives you a practical path forward.

Chapters

  • 02:46 What Emotional Maturity Is

  • 04:02 Reactivity to Responsibility

  • 07:08 The Power of the Pause

  • 09:40 Communicate the Pause

  • 11:54 Return and Repair

  • 14:26 Practice and Next Steps

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

NEW at Choose Recovery Services!

  • Wired for Pain - Join us April 26th for a FREE webinar for couples. Discover how your brain and body may be “wired” by past pain—and why that wiring keeps you stuck in patterns you can’t seem to break. This free webinar reveals the hidden connection between trauma, behavior, and healing, giving you practical tools to finally move from survival mode into lasting change.

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

  • 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Apr 23, 202617:44
92: Breathwork and Somatic Healing: How to Reconnect With Your Body - with Steven Roccazzella

92: Breathwork and Somatic Healing: How to Reconnect With Your Body - with Steven Roccazzella

Why do so many men understand recovery…but still don’t feel better?

In this episode of Beyond the Facade, Luke Gordon sits down with breathwork practitioner Steven Roccazzella to explore the missing piece in healing: your body.

You’ll learn:

  • Why talk therapy alone isn’t enough

  • How breathwork regulates your nervous system

  • The surprising role of cold exposure in healing

  • What it actually means to feel “safe in your body”

Ready to go deeper? Learn more about Reclaimed - our men’s somatic intensive coming up in August, and register now to secure your spot! 

Chapters

  • 02:56 Steven’s Backstory

  • 06:12 What Is Breathwork?

  • 08:26 Cold Exposure Therapy

  • 15:16 Wim Hof Method

  • 21:55 Breathwork Basics

  • 26:37 Stress Responses Explained

  • 30:44 Somatic Trust

  • 32:56 What Healing Looks Like

Connect with Steven

  • Website

  • Instagram @steven_roccazzella

  • Email stevenroccazzella@gmail.com

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  • ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

  • LAST CHANCE! ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. Also explore attending our Help Her Heal men’s support group. A new group starts in April!

  • 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

  • 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Apr 09, 202639:44
91: Why Empathy Breaks Down After Betrayal (And How to Fix It)

91: Why Empathy Breaks Down After Betrayal (And How to Fix It)

Healing after betrayal is one of the hardest journeys a couple can face — especially when both partners want the relationship to work but feel stuck in the same painful patterns.

This week Luke and Alana dive into one of the biggest challenges in betrayal recovery: Why progress in personal recovery doesn’t always translate into relational healing.

You’ll learn:

  • Why many men struggle to show empathy after betrayal

  • The difference between individual recovery and relational repair

  • What betrayed partners truly need to feel safe again

  • How emotional regulation impacts healing

  • Why healing after betrayal is often “Olympic-level emotional work”

If you’re trying to rebuild trust, understand your partner’s pain, or move forward after betrayal, this conversation will help you see the process more clearly — and remind you that healing is possible.

Don’t Miss Out!

If you connected with this conversation, we invite you to learn more about our Help Her Heal men’s intensive and support groups. Reach out to find out which option may be right for you! (702) 277-9145 | info@chooserecoveryservices.com

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  •  ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. Also explore attending our Help Her Heal men’s support group. A new group starts in April!

  • 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

  • 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Mar 19, 202643:45
90: The Truth About Conflict in Relationships (Especially After Betrayal)

90: The Truth About Conflict in Relationships (Especially After Betrayal)

Most people think conflict damages relationships, but avoiding conflict may be doing more harm than the conflict itself.

In this episode, Luke Gordon explains why healthy conflict is a critical part of recovery, connection, and emotional maturity—especially after betrayal.

You’ll learn:

  • Why conflict triggers the fight-flight-freeze response

  • How childhood patterns shape how we handle disagreements

  • Why your partner’s triggers may actually be an attempt to connect

  • How boundaries help regulate difficult conversations

Conflict doesn't have to destroy relationships. When handled intentionally, it can become the very thing that builds deeper trust and intimacy.

Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups

Chapters

  • 03:17 Conflict Avoidance

  • 05:48 Triggers As Connection

  • 07:18 Defining Conflict

  • 10:31 Nervous System Cycle

  • 15:54 Healthy Conflict Skills

  • 19:07 Rupture and Repair

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  •  ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 

  • 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

  • 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Mar 12, 202626:23
89: Betrayal Violence: Destructive Patterns That Can Continue After Infidelity

89: Betrayal Violence: Destructive Patterns That Can Continue After Infidelity

Apologies don’t automatically heal betrayal.

In fact, many people in recovery unknowingly continue hurting their partner through subtle defensive reactions, shutdown patterns, and attempts to control the healing process.

In this episode, Luke explores betrayal violence — a concept from Hope Ray that explains how relational harm can continue long after the original betrayal.

You’ll learn:

  • Why saying “I’m sorry” often isn’t enough

  • The destructive communication patterns that deepen betrayal trauma

  • The ABC pattern behind reactive behavior

  • Why shame and defensiveness sabotage repair

  • How awareness and accountability help rebuild safety

Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups

Chapters

  • 01:04 When Sorry Isn’t Enough

  • 02:31 Betrayal Violence

  • 04:55 Why These Patterns Form

  • 07:19 Common Harmful Responses

  • 10:53 The ABC Pattern

  • 12:01 The Floating Saint

  • 13:55 Accountability Without Shame

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  •  ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 

  • 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

  • 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 
    Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Mar 06, 202619:07
88: Why You Don’t Trust Yourself (And How to Rebuild Trust in Recovery)

88: Why You Don’t Trust Yourself (And How to Rebuild Trust in Recovery)

Do you trust yourself?

In this episode, Luke dives into the erosion of self-trust that happens through years of secrecy, compulsive behavior, and shame—and how to rebuild it.

We unpack:

  • What self-trust actually means (hint: it’s not confidence)

  • The difference between shame and guilt in recovery

  • Why external validation won’t rebuild inner worth

  • How consistency—not perfection—restores alignment

  • Why betrayed partners can sense when self-trust is missing

If you’ve ever promised yourself “This time will be different”… this episode is for you.

Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups

Chapters:

  • 02:32 Defining Self-Trust Alignment

  • 05:26 Shame Guilt and Fragmentation

  • 06:10 Validation vs Inner Worth

  • 08:20 Honesty Builds Integration

  • 09:12 Betrayed Partners and Safety

  • 11:15 How Self Trust Grows

  • 12:15 Phase Two Curriculum Path

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  •  ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 

  • 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

  • Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 


Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Feb 26, 202614:60
87: How Powerlessness and Entitlement Sabotage Healing

87: How Powerlessness and Entitlement Sabotage Healing

Resentment doesn’t always look like anger. Sometimes it hides behind effort, silence, or “doing everything right.”

This week Luke joins Alana Gordon on her podcast, Choose To Be, to explore how powerlessness and entitlement quietly fuel resentment, especially in recovery after betrayal or compulsive sexual behavior.

Together they unpack:

  • Why resentment often goes unnoticed until it causes damage

  • How silent scorekeeping creates emotional distance

  • The link between resentment, entitlement, and relapse risk

  • Why awareness alone isn’t enough–and what actually leads to healing

Chapters

  • 04:05 Personal Experiences with Resentment

  • 07:22 Silent Scorekeeping

  • 09:45 Entitlement and Passive Aggressiveness

  • 12:00 Processing Resentment and Finding Power

  • 16:35 Practical Steps to Address Resentment

  • 23:49 T-ball Analogy

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  •  ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 

  • 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

  • Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com


Feb 19, 202630:16
86: Unlocking the Power of Embodied Healing in Recovery

86: Unlocking the Power of Embodied Healing in Recovery

Why does recovery still feel out of control—even when you know what to do?

This week Luke and Alana Gordon break down somatic work and why healing the nervous system is the missing layer in addiction recovery, betrayal repair, and emotional regulation.

Many people can explain recovery concepts perfectly—yet still react automatically under stress. That’s because insight alone can’t override a dysregulated nervous system. 

Listen to learn:

  • What somatic work actually is (and what it’s not)

  • Why your body reacts before your brain can catch up

  • How trauma and addiction live in the nervous system

  • Why embodiment allows recovery tools to work under stress

  • How nervous system regulation creates felt safety in relationships

Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups

Chapters

  • 00:24 Understanding Somatic Work

  • 03:41 The Importance of Embodied Healing

  • 06:18 The Role of the Nervous System in Recovery

  • 08:58 Challenges and Benefits of Somatic Work

  • 13:04 What Somatic Work is Not

  • 15:43 Relational Impact of Somatic Work

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  •  ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 

  • 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

  • Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com


Feb 12, 202622:19
85: The Addictive System: Why Stopping Behavior Isn't Enough

85: The Addictive System: Why Stopping Behavior Isn't Enough

Stopping the behavior isn’t the same as healing.

This week Luke breaks down why addiction is not a willpower problem—but a self-perpetuating system. Drawing from Patrick Carnes’ addictive system framework, this episode explains why sincere motivation often isn’t enough, why relapse happens even when behavior stops, and what true recovery actually requires.

You’ll learn:

  • Why addiction operates as a closed-loop system

  • How shame and secrecy fuel relapse

  • The hidden role of core beliefs and impaired thinking

  • Why partners often feel unsafe even after behavior stops

  • What it means to interrupt addiction upstream

This episode is essential for anyone stuck in the cycle—or who loves someone who is.

Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups

Chapters

  • 01:11 Understanding Addiction as a System

  • 04:14 The Role of Core Beliefs in Addiction

  • 05:29 Impaired Thinking and Its Impact

  • 07:12 The Addictive Cycle Explained

  • 10:07 The Importance of Addressing Secrecy

  • 11:24 Partner's Perspective and System-Level Work

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  •  ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 

  • 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women.

  • Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

Feb 05, 202617:38
84: How Attachment Shapes Relationships, Addiction, and Intimacy

84: How Attachment Shapes Relationships, Addiction, and Intimacy

Why do we keep choosing relationships that feel familiar—even when they hurt?

This week, Luke and Alana dive into how attachment shapes relationships, addiction, and intimacy at the nervous system level. Attachment isn’t about willpower or insight—it’s about survival patterns learned long before we had words.

You’ll learn:

  • How attachment patterns form in early childhood

  • Why anxious, avoidant, and fearful attachment styles repeat in adulthood

  • How attachment wounds drive compulsive behaviors and addiction

  • Why real healing requires nervous system regulation—not just insight

  • What it actually takes to move toward secure attachment

Chapters

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  •  Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 

  • Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

  • Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. 

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 


Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

Jan 29, 202632:46
83: Understanding Parts Work in Addiction Recovery

83: Understanding Parts Work in Addiction Recovery

Sobriety doesn’t automatically create emotional safety—and partners know it.

This week Luke and Alana introduce parts work as a core Phase Two recovery framework. If you’ve ever felt emotionally hijacked, confused by your reactions, or ashamed that recovery still feels chaotic, this conversation names what’s actually happening beneath the surface.

You’ll learn:

  • Why emotional contradictions aren’t a character flaw

  • How protector parts drive addiction and defensiveness

  • The difference between sobriety and self-leadership

  • Why accountability increases—not decreases—with parts work

This episode is essential for individuals and couples navigating betrayal trauma, emotional whiplash, and the deeper work of relational healing.

Chapters

00:45 Introduction to Phase Two and Parts Work

02:58 Emotional Hijacking

06:31 The Role of Protector Parts

15:29 Self-Leadership and Emotional Maturity

21:42 Relational Impact and Partner’s Role

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  • Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

  • Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. 

  •  Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 

  • We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

Jan 22, 202629:46
82: Building Emotional and Relational Capacity

82: Building Emotional and Relational Capacity

Many men believe that once the behavior stops, recovery should feel resolved. But what happens when sobriety doesn’t lead to closeness, safety, or repair?

In this episode Luke introduces Phase Two recovery and explains why emotional maturity isn’t about calm behavior or compliance — it’s about capacity.

You’ll learn:

  • Why sobriety removes behavior but not the internal system behind it

  • How emotional underdevelopment shows up after acting out stops

  • What emotional, relational, and nervous system capacity actually mean

  • Why effort alone doesn’t register as safety for betrayed partners

Chapters

  • 03:34 Understanding Emotional Maturity

  • 06:38 Defining Emotional Capacity

  • 09:31 Sobriety and Emotional Development

  • 13:46 Invitation to Phase Two Work

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  • 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/rise-renew-restore-retreat/

  • Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/courage-to-thrive-betrayal-trauma-intensive/

  •  ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/help-her-heal-intensive/

  • 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/intensive-scholarship/

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

Jan 15, 202616:44
81: Stepping Back to Move Forward

81: Stepping Back to Move Forward

What happens when you’ve done everything right in recovery — and something still feels unresolved?

In this deeply honest episode, Luke shares why he’s stepping away from Choose Recovery Services for a season — not because of relapse, but because healing sometimes requires going deeper than insight, willpower, or knowledge.

Joined by Alana Gordon, this conversation explores:

  • Why recovery isn’t linear

  • The fear of “what if it doesn’t work?”

  • Somatic healing and trauma stored in the body

  • Differentiation between partners in long-term recovery

  • Why stepping back can actually be an act of leadership

If you’re a betrayed partner wondering if real healing is possible — or someone in recovery who feels stuck despite “doing the work” — this episode offers honesty, hope, and permission to keep going.

Chapters

  • 00:26 Announcement From Luke

  • 03:19 Luke’s Decision to Step Away

  • 04:59 Alana’s Perspective on Healing

  • 07:22 The Importance of Somatic Healing

  • 10:01 Challenges and Realizations in Recovery

  • 23:02 Trust and Autonomy in Relationships

  • 33:18 Future Plans

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  • Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

Jan 08, 202636:45
80: Micro Risks: The Small Choices That Quietly Change Everything

80: Micro Risks: The Small Choices That Quietly Change Everything

Most people don’t stay stuck because they don’t want to change — they stay stuck because familiar pain feels safer than uncertain freedom.

In this episode, Luke explores why the nervous system chooses predictability over healing, especially for men in recovery from compulsive sexual behavior. Even when sobriety is solid and effort is high, trust often remains stalled — not because of lack of care, but because initiative requires risk.

You’ll learn:

  • Why trust doesn’t grow through crisis or big gestures

  • What “micro risks” are — and why they actually retrain the brain

  • How honesty builds safety when it’s voluntary, early, and consistent

  • The neuroscience behind effort, avoidance, and integrity

This episode is essential for anyone navigating betrayal trauma, relational repair, or long-term recovery.

Chapters

  • 01:41 Challenges in Building Trust

  • 02:50 Defining Micro Risks

  • 04:02 Examples of Micro Risks

  • 06:08 Micro Risks vs. Big Gestures

  • 07:25 The Role of the Nervous System

  • 11:34 Micro Risks in Relationships

  • 14:26 The Anterior Cingulate Cortex

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  • Season of Support - Join us for our LAST WEEK of a 4-week webinar series designed specifically for couples who want to stay connected, emotionally regulated, and intentional during the holidays — rather than simply surviving them. December 1, 8, 15, 22. Register to receive the Zoom link.

  • Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 


Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

Dec 18, 202520:33
79: Healing From Betrayal Trauma: One Couple's Story of Safety, Stability, and Grieving Together

79: Healing From Betrayal Trauma: One Couple's Story of Safety, Stability, and Grieving Together

What does real healing look like after betrayal?This week Chance and Crystal join Luke for an honest conversation about boundaries, nervous system healing, resentment, parts work, and rebuilding safety after years of secrecy.

Learn how Phase One stabilizes the relationship and how Phase Two transforms grief into connection.

Perfect for individuals and couples seeking guidance, clarity, and hope.

Chapters

01:24 Meet Chance and Crystal

02:07 Chance and Crystal’s Personal Story

07:01 The Importance of Self-Care and Boundaries

21:12 Navigating Resentment

24:05 Establishing Boundaries and Creating Safety

27:21 Safety and Stability

28:18 Grieving Together

31:56 Navigating Shared Grief and Vulnerability

38:18 The Importance of Individual Healing

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE.

Register Now!

  • Season of Support - Join us for a 4-week webinar series designed specifically for couples who want to stay connected, emotionally regulated, and intentional during the holidays — rather than simply surviving them. December 1, 8, 15, 22. Register to receive the Zoom link.

  • Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com


Dec 11, 202548:01
78: Two Realities: When Truth, Trauma, and Denial Collide

78: Two Realities: When Truth, Trauma, and Denial Collide

Why don’t you and your partner agree on “what really happened”? In early recovery, trauma, shame, and denial collide — creating two completely different versions of reality that both feel true.

Luke explains:

• Trauma logic & worst-case thinking

• Denial fog & fragmented memory

• Why accuracy evolves in recovery

• How to validate without agreeing

• The 3-part integrity check that rebuilds trust

Tune in for a grounded, compassionate episode for couples healing from betrayal.

Chapters

  • 01:51 Understanding the Betrayed Partner’s Reality

  • 03:16 Exploring the Betraying Partner’s Reality

  • 05:30 Navigating Conflicting Realities

  • 06:32 Redefining Accuracy in Early Recovery

  • 12:33 Integrity Checks and Empathic Validation

  • 17:03 Season of Support Webinar 

Register Now!

  • Season of Support - Join us for a 4-week webinar series designed specifically for couples who want to stay connected, emotionally regulated, and intentional during the holidays — rather than simply surviving them. December 1, 8, 15, 22. Register to receive the Zoom link.

  • Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!

  • Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Jan 27-30, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Dec 04, 202519:33
77: The Betrayal Bind with Michelle Mays: Healing the Attachment Wound After Infidelity

77: The Betrayal Bind with Michelle Mays: Healing the Attachment Wound After Infidelity

How do you recover when the person you love has betrayed you? Author Michelle Mays (LPC, CSAT-S) joins Luke Gordon to explore The Betrayal Bind — the painful paradox of needing the very person who hurt you. Discover how attachment theory, betrayal trauma, and nervous system science explain what happens after infidelity and how both partners can rebuild trust.

Topics include:

  • The three wounds of betrayal: emotional, attachment, and sexual

  • Why “attachment ambivalence” feels like chaos

  • How betrayed and betraying partners can reconnect safely

Connect with Michelle:

💡 Brought to you by Choose Recovery Services — guiding individuals and couples through betrayal trauma recovery.

Chapters

  • 01:18 Introducing Michelle Mays

  • 04:48 The Betrayal Bind

  • 07:06 Attachment and Betrayal

  • 11:30 Navigating Safe Relationships

  • 13:30 Wounds From Betrayal

  • 18:04 Sexual Injuries and Recovery

  • 21:31 Attachment Ambivalence 

  • 28:02 Attunement and Responsiveness 

  • 32:08 Building Trust Through Consistency

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  • Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!

  • Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Jan 27-30, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Nov 13, 202538:45
76: Feeling Defensive? The Four-Step Shift That Rebuilds Trust and Connection

76: Feeling Defensive? The Four-Step Shift That Rebuilds Trust and Connection

Ever notice how defensiveness shows up even when your intentions are good?


In this episode, Luke Gordon reveals why defensiveness is a biological protection strategy — not a moral failure — and how to shift it into connection.

You’ll learn:

  • Why your nervous system reacts before you do

  • How empathy changes the way truth lands

  • The four-step shift: Pause, Name, Acknowledge, Respond

  • How to rebuild emotional safety after conflict

💡 “Truth lands differently when empathy comes first.”

Discover tools for healing and communication at ChooseRecoveryServices.com


Chapters

00:00 – “You’re being defensive!” — why it stings

01:50 - Understanding defensiveness

03:46 - The answering trap

06:14 Recognizing the signals

07:42 Tools for shifting from defensiveness to connection

10:15 Practice and Takeaways

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Register Now!

  • Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Nov 06, 202512:15
75: The Moment Recovery Becomes Real - with Isy Williams

75: The Moment Recovery Becomes Real - with Isy Williams

Ready to move beyond “checking the boxes” in recovery? In this powerful conversation, Luke Gordon and Isy Williams, coaches with Choose Recovery Services, explore the turning point when betrayal trauma recovery and sexual addiction recovery shift from something you do to something you live.

Through personal stories and hard-won wisdom, they share how emotional healing, integrity, and authentic connection create lasting transformation—and why embracing discomfort is the key to real change.

What You'll Learn:

  • The difference between halfway commitment and full immersion in recovery

  • Why ownership matters more than compliance or perfectionism

  • How embracing discomfort leads to authentic transformation

Learn more about Isy and book a complimentary session here

Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Oct 30, 202535:31
74: Perfectionism and Shame

74: Perfectionism and Shame

Ever notice how the harder you try to get everything right, the more isolated and empty you feel? This week Luke unpacks perfectionism not as a personality flaw, but as a survival strategy—a shield we use to avoid shame and rejection. 

Drawing on Brené Brown's work and his own recovery journey, he explores why we chase an impossible standard and what it costs us in connection, authenticity, and peace.

What You'll Learn:

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Oct 23, 202515:06
73: The Myth of "I Told You Everything"

73: The Myth of "I Told You Everything"

What if claiming you’ve shared everything with your partner is actually sabotaging your recovery? In this eye-opening episode, Luke explains why the statement “I’ve told you everything is so damaging. 

He reveals how recovery works in layers, why humility trumps certainty, and how acknowledging what you don’t know yet actually builds more trust than claiming you know it all.


Watch the episode on YouTube HERE


What you’ll learn:

  • Why claiming full awareness breeds stagnation and relapse in recovery

  • How denial creates constructed realities that feel safe but aren’t fully true

  • How believing you’ve “made it” shuts down growth

Chapters

  • 01:10 The Problem of “I’ve Told You Everything”

  • 02:07 Constructed Realities and Denial

  • 04:33 Addictive Systems and Belief Structures

  • 07:40 The Illusion of Full Awareness

  • 13:43 Managing Outcomes vs. Living in Truth

  • 15:10 Practical Language for True Awareness

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Oct 16, 202518:10
72: You Can't Shame Yourself Into Change

72: You Can't Shame Yourself Into Change

Are you beating yourself up in the name of accountability and in the process accidentally blocking the very change you’re after? This week Luke challenges the myth that shame leads to transformation, sharing a powerful D-Day story where his self-loathing actually prevented him from hearing his partner’s pain. 

He breaks down why self-compassion isn’t about escaping accountability; it’s what makes genuine accountability possible.

Listen to learn:

  • Why shame blocks empathy and keeps you stuck

  • How self-compassion and accountability can exist in the same breath

  • What self-compassion actually looks like in recovery (and it’s not letting yourself off the hook!)

Chapters

  • 00:15 Luke’s Personal Story of Shame

  • 01:25 Understanding Self-Compassion

  • 03:19 Debunking Myths About Self-Compassion

  • 08:59 Real-Life Examples of Self-Compassion

LAST CHANCE TO REGISTER!

  • Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.

  • We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Apply for scholarships here. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Oct 09, 202512:36
71: Why Can't My Partner See the Good?

71: Why Can't My Partner See the Good?

Why is it so hard for a betrayed partner to see the positive changes you’ve made? This week Luke is again joined by Alana Gordon (LMFT, co-owner and founder of Choose Recovery Services, and president of APSATS) and together they delve into the complexities of betrayal trauma healing.

Listen in as Luke gives a powerful analogy of hiking with a mountain lion to explain the brain’s constant search for emotional safety. 

Tune in to learn: 

  • The necessity of consistent positive actions

  • The importance of letting go of instant validation

  • How to truly rebuild trust over time

Chapters

  • 01:17 Understanding Betrayal Trauma

  • 01:55 The Mountain Lion Analogy

  • 04:11 Emotional Safety and Trust

  • 08:57 Advice for Individuals Seeking Recovery

Register Now!

  • Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.

  • We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Apply for scholarships here. 

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Sep 25, 202511:03
70: What Does Real Recovery Look Like? Part 2

70: What Does Real Recovery Look Like? Part 2

Are you struggling to know what real recovery and change looks like? This week Alana Gordon (LMFT, co-owner and founder of Choose, and president of APSATS) is back to continue the discussion about red flags and green flags when it comes to recovery. Listen in to hear about boundaries, lifestyle shifts, and empathy. 

Learn to identify toxic patterns, embrace healthy changes, and cultivate deep empathy for yourself and others as you heal.

Listen to Part 1 here!

Tune in to learn:

  • Why real recovery requires changing your environment and relationships, not just your behavior

  • How to rid yourself of the “what about me” mentality

  • The difference between performative and genuine empathy

Chapters

  • 01:21 Boundaries and Lifestyle Shifts

  • 03:48 Rationalizing Risky Environments

  • 11:53 External Promises vs. Internal Guardrails

  • 13:19 Commitment to Safety Over Old Patterns

  • 16:47 Healthy Rhythms and Self-Care

  • 20:45 Boundaries and Values

  • 28:37 Empathy and Attunement

  • 33:45 Heartfelt Empathy

Register Now!

  • Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.

  • We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Sep 18, 202542:02
69: What Does Real Recovery Look Like?

69: What Does Real Recovery Look Like?

Are you truly in recovery, or are you just performing? This week Luke welcomes Alana Gordon to the podcast (LMFT, co-owner and founder of Choose, and president of APSATS). Together they explore the difference between surface-level recovery and authentic transformation in this no-holds-barred conversation. 

They reveal the green flags and red flags that separate real healing from going through the motions—and why the work you resist most might be exactly what you need.

Listen to learn:

  • The difference between "being in recovery" vs. "working recovery"

  • Red flags like selective effort and performing only under pressure

  • Green flag behaviors that show authentic recovery progress

Chapters

  • 01:05 Introducing Alana

  • 04:53 Honesty in Recovery

  • 15:38 Sobriety and Accountability

  • 18:53 Selective Effort

  • 24:46 Performing Under Pressure

  • 30:53 The Power of Personal Power

Register Now!

  • Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.

  • Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. 

  • Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.

  • We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 


Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Sep 11, 202542:56
68: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Conflict

68: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Conflict

Do you feel like since the betrayal, your relationship with your partner is like a house you are carefully trying to rebuild and your partner often comes in with a sledgehammer to “test the walls”?

This week Luke explores why this might happen and what that means for healing. This episode may completely shift how you view conflict in your relationships.

Listen to learn:

  • The House Analogy - why your partner may appear to be trying to destroy what you are building

  • Your Conflict Blueprint - how your family of origin shaped your relationship with conflict

  • Reframing Conflict - why conflict is the doorway to intimacy, not something to avoid

Chapters

  • 01:35 The House Analogy

  • 03:54 The Sledgehammer

  • 08:51 Understanding Conflict and Its Impact

  • 09:23 Conflict Isn’t the Enemy

  • 11:41 Family of Origin

Register Now!

  • Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.

  • Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. 

  • Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.

  • We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Sep 04, 202519:21
67: What Real Recovery Looks Like to Your Partner

67: What Real Recovery Looks Like to Your Partner

When you’re in recovery but nothing seems to be helping your relationship, it can feel like you’re powerless to create real change. This week Luke welcomes Isy Williams (fellow Choose Recovery Services coach) and together they reveal what betrayed partners are actually looking for (and it’s not perfection!).

Listen to learn: 

  • The difference between consistency and perfection

  • How to shift from external motivation to values-based recovery

  • Four specific signs betrayed partners need to see to rebuild trust

Chapters

  • 01:02 Introducing Isy Wiliams

  • 04:49 Deconstructing Lies in Recovery

  • 17:14 The Importance of Consistency 

  • 22:55 Perfection vs. Consistency

  • 25:38 Grace and Patience

  • 31:51 Importance of Self-Driven Recovery

Register Now!

  • Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.

  • Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. 

  • Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.

  • We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


Aug 28, 202541:04
66: Free Will in Addiction Recovery

66: Free Will in Addiction Recovery

Do you ever wonder why you keep repeating the same destructive patterns despite wanting to change? This week Luke tackles a huge question in recovery: Do we actually have free will, or is everything predetermined by our past trauma and brain chemistry? This isn't just philosophical debate—it's about understanding what actually needs to be in place for real transformation to happen.

What You'll Learn:

  • The difference between free will and determinism, and why most people get stuck in the extremes

  • The 5 essential requirements that must be present for true choice to even be possible

  • How to reframe recovery from "just try harder" to creating the right conditions for sustainable change

Chapters

  • 01:02 Free Will vs Determinism

  • 04:38 Exploring the Extremes and Middle Ground

  • 07:26 Requirements for Free Will

  • 13:45 Questions to Ponder

Register Now!

  • Our next men’s intensive is coming up! Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.

  • Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

  • Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. 

  • We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.

Connect With Us:

  • Learn more about Luke here

  • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

  • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.

  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!


Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Aug 21, 202514:58
65: Breaking the Shell - How Men's Intensives Unlock Embodied Healing

65: Breaking the Shell - How Men's Intensives Unlock Embodied Healing

You know the recovery scripts by heart, but when your partner is triggered, it still feels performative and hollow. Sound familiar?

In this powerful episode, Luke welcomes Hali Roderick (fellow Choose To Be coach) and Tim, a participant from the recent Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive. Tim shares how somatic work and community vulnerability can crack open the shells we've built around our hearts, moving us from performative recovery to authentic healing.

What You'll Learn:

  • Why recovery scripts fall short and how to embody real empathy

  • How body-based healing breaks through emotional barriers

  • Why vulnerability in community accelerates healing

Chapters

  • 01:06 Meet Hali and Tim

  • 03:58 The Purpose of the Help Her Heal Intensive

  • 09:36 Somatic Work: The Key to Healing

  • 16:15 The Value of Community

  • 20:41 The Nervous System’s Response to Trauma

  • 24:20 Being Ready For Change

  • 26:39 Family of Origin Analogy

Register Now!

  • Our next men’s intensive is coming up! Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.

    • Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 
    • Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. 

    • We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.

    Connect With Us:

    • Learn more about Luke here

    • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

    • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

    • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

    Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

    • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

    • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

    Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

    • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

    • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

    • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

    • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.

    • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

    Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


    Aug 14, 202534:18
    64: Understanding Attachment Wounds in Sexual Addiction Recovery

    64: Understanding Attachment Wounds in Sexual Addiction Recovery

    Ever wondered why certain behaviors feel impossible to break, even when you desperately want to change? In this eye-opening episode, Luke and guest Laura Fisher dive deep into the hidden world of attachment wounds and how childhood experiences shape our adult relationships and coping mechanisms. 

    You'll discover why recovery isn't a destination but an ongoing journey—like walking up a down escalator that never stops moving.

    Laura Fisher is a fellow coach at Choose Recovery Services. Learn more about her here and book a session with her here.  

    Listen to Learn:

    • The importance of understanding your attachment style

    • How trauma can create sexual addiction patterns

    • Why recovery requires consistent, ongoing effort

    Chapters

    • 01:09 Welcoming Laura

    • 01:44 Understanding Attachment and Its Impact

    • 06:44 Attachment Wounds and Their Manifestations 

    • 18:52 Rewiring the Nervous System

    • 25:31 Somatic Healing

    Register Now!

    • Our next men’s intensive is coming up! Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.

    • Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

    • We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.

    Connect With Us:

    • Learn more about Luke here

    • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

    • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

    • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

    Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

    • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

    • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

    Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

    • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round .

    • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

    • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

    • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.

    • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

    • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

    • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

    • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

    Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


    Aug 07, 202529:49
    63: Redefining Self-Compassion

    63: Redefining Self-Compassion

    Do you find yourself thinking that being tough on yourself is the key to growth? It’s not! This week Luke dismantles seven common myths about self-compassion and reveals how being kinder to yourself can fuel real change, recovery, and connection.

    Listen to discover:

    • Why self-compassion strengthens accountability

    • How self-compassion is a strength, not a weakness

    • How self-compassion in moments of failure can spur growth

    Chapters:

    • 02:07 Understanding Self-Compassion

    • 03:29 Myth: Self-Compassion Means Avoiding Responsibility 

    • 03:59 Myth: Self-Compassion is Selfish

    • 06:30 Myth: Self-Compassion Lowers Standards

    • 07:13 Myth: You Have to Earn Self-Compassion

    • 08:23 Myth: Self-Compassion is Fake Positivity 

    • 09:37 Myth: Self-Compassion Only Works for Good People

    • 10:27 Myth: Self-Compassion Means Avoiding Hard Emotions

    Register Now!

    • Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

    • We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.

    Connect With Us:

    • Learn more about Luke here

    • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

    • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

    • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

    Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

    • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

    • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

    Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

    • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

    • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

    • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

    • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.

    • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

    • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

    • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

    • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

    Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


    Jul 31, 202513:14
    62: Is It Okay to Acknowledge That Someone Is Attractive?

    62: Is It Okay to Acknowledge That Someone Is Attractive?

    How quickly can someone go from noticing to fantasizing? This week Luke answers a listener’s question about how the brain processes attraction and the resulting sexual response.

    Get answers to these three questions:

    • How quickly can someone go from noticing to fantasizing?

    • Where does the three-second rule fit into the brain sexual response cycle?

    • Is it okay to acknowledge that someone is attractive?

    Listen to Episode 46 for background on the neuroscience behind the body’s sexual response. 

    Chapters

    • 01:29 Recap of Episode 46

    • 03:24 Question 1

    • 05:12 Question 2

    • 08:29 Question 3

    Register Now!

    • Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

    • We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.

    Connect With Us:

    • Learn more about Luke here

    • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

    • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

    • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

    Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

    • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

    • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

    Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

    • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

    • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

    • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

    • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.

    • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

    • Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. 

    • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

    • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

    • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

    Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

    Jul 24, 202514:04
    61: Discover Your True Values - with Sy Bee

    61: Discover Your True Values - with Sy Bee

    How do you make decisions when you’re not sure you can trust your emotions? This week Luke welcomes Sy Bee back to resume their discussion from last week. They continue exploring the differences between emotionally-based and values-based decisions.

    Tune in to hear:

    • Sy’s personal experiences of triumphs and failures

    • What is meant by “shadow emotions”

    • The dangers of letting your inner child drive your decisions

    Book a session with Sy

    Chapters

    • 01:26 Emotionally Based Decisions

    • 04:37 Understanding Values

    • 08:17 Identifying Personal Values

    • 15:16 Exploring the Root of Behaviors

    • 20:34 Shadow Expressions

    • 27:16 Integrity and Trust in Recovery

    • 32:50 Discovering Core Values

    Register Now!

    • Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

    • We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.

    Connect With Us:

    • Learn more about Luke here

    • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

    • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

    • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

    Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

    • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

    • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

    Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

    • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

    • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

    • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

    • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.

    • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

    • Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. 

    • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

    • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

    • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

    Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


    Jul 17, 202538:04