
Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute
By Luke Gordon with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute


110: Scott and Lela's Story: Four D-Days and the Search for Real Recovery (Part 1)
What if confession, accountability, sobriety, and marriage counseling still weren't enough?
Scott and Lela experienced four D-Days and repeatedly believed that things would finally be different—only to find themselves back in the same cycle.
In Part 1 of their story, they openly discuss pornography and compulsive sexual behavior, secrecy, betrayal trauma, marriage counseling, 12-step recovery, gaslighting, shame, and the devastating impact repeated disclosures had on their relationship.
Most importantly, they begin to uncover a critical distinction: stopping the behavior isn't necessarily the same thing as addressing what drives it.
This is the story of what wasn't working. Come back next week for Part 2 where we will explore the changes that finally helped them heal.
Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.
Choose Recovery Services helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change.
Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men working to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change.
We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. Nov 8-11 in Spanish Fork, UT
Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
Rise, Renew, Restore - women’s retreat in Bali in April 2027 - Join us in beautiful Bali for an unforgettable blend of deep somatic healing, soulful connection, luxury, adventure, and restorative experiences designed to help you release what’s heavy and reconnect with your joy.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals and couples.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.
Tender Resilience - Heal through art. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop OR join the 6-Week Group.

109: Entitlement in Recovery: How Your Needs Can Impact Your Partner - with Scott Blundo
What does entitlement actually look like in recovery?
It doesn't always sound like, “I deserve more than you.” Sometimes it sounds much quieter: “My needs should make sense to you.”
This week Luke Gordon sits down with fellow recovery coach, Scott Blundo, to explore one of the more difficult pieces of recovery from compulsive sexual behavior: recognizing entitlement and understanding how it can affect the people we love.
Listen to learn:
What entitlement is and how it shows up in relationships
The connection between entitlement, helplessness, and empathy
How to recognize and begin changing entitlement patterns
Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.
Choose Recovery Services helps individuals heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change.
Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men wanting to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change.
We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper, reconnect with yourself, and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/awakening-the-man-within/
Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
Rise, Renew, Restore - women’s retreat in Bali in April 2027 - Join us in beautiful Bali for an unforgettable blend of deep somatic healing, soulful connection, luxury, adventure, and restorative experiences designed to help you release what’s heavy and reconnect with your joy.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals and couples.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.
Tender Resilience - Heal through art. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop OR join the 6-Week Group.

108: When Her Healing Feels Like She's Leaving: Differentiation in Betrayal Recovery - with Tyler Patrick
After betrayal, it's common for fear to take over. Your partner starts going back to school, developing friendships, investing in themself, or rebuilding an identity outside the relationship, and suddenly you're thinking: They're preparing to leave me.
This week, Luke Gordon talks with licensed marriage and family therapist Tyler Patrick about betrayal recovery, differentiation, shame, fear of abandonment, and rebuilding relationships after infidelity.
They explore what it means to:
- Give your partner “wings” instead of holding them back
- Support differentiation after betrayal
- Stop letting shame dictate your behavior
- Regulate fear and anxiety during relationship uncertainty
- Build a life rooted in integrity and authenticity
Connect with Tyler Patrick: website & Therapy Brothers podcast
Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.
Choose Recovery Services helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change.
Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men wanting to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change.
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.
Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals and couples.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.
Tender Resilience - Heal through art. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop OR join the 6-Week Group

107: Why Accountability Isn't Enough for Lasting Recovery
Most people believe accountability is the key to lasting recovery.
But what if accountability is only the beginning?
This week, Luke Gordon explores one of the biggest misconceptions in addiction recovery: the belief that honesty alone creates transformation.
You'll learn:
Why accountability matters
Where accountability stops
What actually creates lasting change
How emotional regulation changes recovery
Why healing requires more than honesty
The difference between support and transformation
Chapters
00:01 Crutches Analogy
02:08 Defining Accountability
04:27 Deeper Work Beyond Crutches
05:10 Window of Tolerance
07:22 Keep Going
Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.
We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.
Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Luke:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
Learn more about Blueprint Institute’s residential immersion program at https://blueprint-institute.com

106: What's Really Underneath Sexual Acting Out? With Sammy Uyama
Sexual acting out isn't always about sex.
Sometimes it's about loneliness. Sometimes it's about validation. Sometimes it's about trying to feel alive.
Luke Gordon and recovery coach Sammy Uyama unpack the emotional needs underneath compulsive sexual behavior and explain why understanding those needs is essential for lasting recovery.
If you've ever wondered why relapse keeps happening—even when motivation is high—this episode may completely change how you think about healing.
Chapters
01:19 Meet Sammy
04:22 Need #1: Connection
17:08 Need #2: Validation
20:07 Need #3: Aliveness
25:15 Need #4: Comfort
Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.
We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.
Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed.
FREE monthly workshop: 1-hour Zoom workshop where Beth provides a safe space for connection, reflection, and simple process art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity.
6-Week Group: Each week we’ll explore a theme from Rick Hanson’s book Resilience and pair it with simple art exercises.
Connect With Luke:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
Learn more about Blueprint Institute’s residential immersion program at https://blueprint-institute.com

105: Are You a Validation Junkie? How Approval Addiction Destroys Authenticity
Are you constantly looking for approval from other people?
This week Luke Gordon and guest Ryan Collins explore what it means to become a validation junkie—someone whose identity depends on the opinions, approval, and acceptance of others.
Together they discuss:
Why validation feels addictive
How people pleasing destroys authenticity
The connection between shame and approval seeking
Why marriage doesn't fix unhealthy validation patterns
Chapters
03:45 Integrity - Steele vs Noodle
05:50 Ryan on Being Called Out
09:08 Validation as a Drug
14:22 Impact on Marriage
20:48 Fear of Disappointing Others
23:37 Validation vs Integrity
27:29 Owning the Cost
30:42 Building Integrity Skills
Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.
We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.
Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed.
FREE monthly workshop: 1-hour Zoom workshop where Beth provides a safe space for connection, reflection, and simple process art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity.
6-Week Group: Designed for those moving through the impact of betrayal trauma and wanting a grounded, compassionate space to rebuild trust in themselves. Each week we’ll explore a theme from Rick Hanson’s book Resilience and pair it with simple art exercises.
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive webinar.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
Learn more about Blueprint Institute’s residential immersion program at https://blueprint-institute.com

104: Recovery Doesn't Fail at Relapse--It Fails Long Before That
Recovery isn't won in the moment you resist temptation—it begins long before the urge ever appears.
This week Luke Gordon explores why relapse is rarely an isolated event. Instead, acting outside your values is often the final step in a much longer emotional cycle involving stress, loneliness, shame, insecurity, and unresolved discomfort.
You'll learn why your brain isn't trying to ruin your life—it is trying to solve emotional pain using familiar patterns. More importantly, you'll discover how learning to tolerate discomfort instead of escaping it becomes the foundation of lasting recovery.
Chapters
01:49 Relapse Starts Earlier
03:01 Familiar Over Healthy
04:33 Relief vs Healing
06:14 Tolerating Discomfort
08:05 Flood Irrigation Metaphor
10:31 Tools for Regulation
12:30 Track Emotions, Not Behaviors
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.
Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

103: Why Knowing Better Doesn't Always Mean Doing Better
Many people spend years reading books, listening to podcasts, attending therapy, and understanding addiction. Yet they still feel stuck.
This week Luke and Alana explain why information alone never creates transformation—and what actually does.
You'll learn:
Why insight feels good but doesn’t change behavior
The uncomfortable “growth zone”
How emotional awareness rewires recovery
Why habits matter more than motivation
How integration creates lasting healing
Chapters
01:35 The Recovery Expert Trap
02:25 Swimming Lessons
05:37 Insight vs Practice
07:24 Repetition
11:15 Integration
15:13 Systems
18:46 Compassion As You Try to Change
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life
Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to podcast@chooserecoveryservices.com.
Watch us on YouTube.
Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services
Schedule a complimentary consultation.
Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.
More from Choose Recovery Services
Beyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.
Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.
Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.
The Empowered Divorce Podcast with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.
Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.
Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.
Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.
Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.
Intimacy Within - A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.
Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.

102: This Isn't an Addiction Problem - It's an Emotional Awareness Problem
Most men were never taught how to identify their emotions—and that missing skill can quietly fuel addiction, disconnection, and destructive coping patterns.
This week Luke explores why emotional awareness is one of the most important foundations of recovery. You'll discover why thoughts aren't feelings, why behavior management isn't enough, and how learning to recognize emotions can interrupt the cycle of compulsive behaviors.
Listen to learn:
Why "I'm fine" isn't an emotion
How emotional distress leads to acting out
Why shame and loneliness stay hidden
The real purpose of emotional awareness
A simple exercise to build emotional regulation
Recovery isn't just about stopping behaviors—it's about learning to understand what your emotions are trying to tell you.
Chapters
01:33 Why Men Miss Emotions
02:23 Thoughts vs Feelings
04:59 Rocky III Fear Lesson
8:04 Stop Asking Why
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.
Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

101: Why Am I Still Struggling Years Later?
You've read the books. Gone to therapy. Joined groups. Learned the language of recovery. And yet, you're still stuck.
In this episode, we explore a painful question many men quietly carry:
"Why am I still struggling?"
This week we unpack why recovery isn't simply about trying harder—it may be about receiving the right level of support.
You'll discover:
Why insight alone doesn't create lasting change.
The difference between information and integration.
Signs that you may need a higher level of care.
Why white-knuckling isn't the same as healing.
How emotional regulation—not just behavior management—changes recovery.
If you've wondered whether you're broken or hopeless, this conversation offers another possibility:
Maybe nothing is wrong with you. Maybe it's time for a different level of help.
Chapters
2:45 Why You Feel Stuck
05:12 Integration
07:05 Signs You Need More
12:00 No Shame; More Support
13:15 Do the Hard Thing
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
NEW Groups
Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.
Know Your Story is a group for men who are ready to move beyond surface-level recovery and explore the experiences, beliefs, and patterns that have shaped their lives through guided writing exercises, reflection, and group discussion. Group starts June 22nd and runs for 14 weeks.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

100: Making Sense of His Behavior
What happens when the acting out stops—but everything still feels broken?
This week Luke and Scott Blundo (fellow Choose Recovery Services coach) explore the difference between sobriety and recovery.
Many betrayed partners expect life to improve once the behaviors stop. But recovery is far more than just abstinence.
You'll learn:
Why sobriety and recovery are not the same thing
Why emotions often intensify after acting out stops
The four key markers of genuine recovery
How accountability differs from shame and punishment
What betrayed partners can realistically expect during healing
Interested in learning more? Register for the Making Sense of His Behavior group starting soon at Choose Recovery Services.
Chapters
01:39 Meet Scott
04:20 Making Sense of His Behavior Course
07:11 Sobriety vs Recovery
09:54 When Things Get Worse
16:54 Markers of Change
25:04 Accountability
32:34 Setbacks and Progress
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
NEW Groups
Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.
Know Your Story is a group for men who are ready to move beyond surface-level recovery and explore the experiences, beliefs, and patterns that have shaped their lives through guided writing exercises, reflection, and group discussion. Group starts June 22nd and runs for 14 weeks.
Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

99: How to Spot an Emotionally Shut-Down Man Part 2
Why does an emotionally shut down man struggle to change—even when he genuinely wants to?
In this follow-up episode, Luke and Alana respond to listener questions about emotional shutdown, nervous system healing, and what recovery actually looks like for men who have spent years disconnecting from their emotions.
***Listen to Part 1 HERE.***
Together they explore:
Why insight alone doesn't create change
What emotional shutdown is really protecting
How attachment wounds shape adult relationships
Why some men become more emotional after starting recovery
What somatic work actually is
How nervous system healing creates lasting transformation
What emotional reconnection looks like in real life
Chapters
01:45 Why Insight Isn’t Enough
08:01 What Shutdown Protects
12:12 Control and Safety
16:17 Predictability Over Vulnerability
20:05 Reconnecting Emotionally
28:43 Somatic Work Explained
30:04 Healing Takes Time
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Retreat is July 30-August 3.
Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.
- Know Your Story is a group for men who are ready to move beyond surface-level recovery and explore the experiences, beliefs, and patterns that have shaped their lives. Through guided writing exercises, reflection, and group discussion, participants create a personal narrative that helps them uncover the roots of shame, self-protection, and unhealthy behaviors. Group starts June 22nd and runs for 14 weeks.
Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

98: Are All CSAT Therapists the Same? What Actually Matters in Addiction Recovery - with Jacob Fletcher
What actually makes a good CSAT therapist?
In this episode, Luke Gordon and Jacob Fletcher (CSAT and fellow Choose Recovery Services coach), unpack the major differences between recovery approaches in pornography addiction and compulsive sexual behavior treatment.
Many people spend years in recovery focused only on behavior and sobriety — yet still feel emotionally disconnected, ashamed, and unable to build intimacy.
This conversation explores:
Behavior-focused vs trauma-focused therapy
Why emotional regulation matters
The role of attachment wounds and shame
How relapse should actually be approached
Questions to ask when choosing a therapist
If you’ve struggled to feel real transformation in recovery, this episode may help you understand why.
Chapters
02:04 Meet Jacob Fletcher
04:27 Different CSAT Styles
07:31 Behavior vs Somatic
09:44 Questions to Ask
14:32 Relapse Approach
18:29 Dopamine Reset
21:46 Balancing Both Models
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!
Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW 8-week group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Start the group at any time and stay for eight weeks.
Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

97: How to Stay Connected to Your Kids After Betrayal
When betrayal enters a family, children often carry invisible pain. This week Luke joins Amie and Alana on their podcast (Choose To Be) to talk about his personal experience with how to repair after betrayal.
Listen in as he shares what his experience was like trying to reconnect with his children and rebuild trust.
Listen to learn:
Why kids react strongly (and sometimes unexpectedly)
How betrayal trauma affects attachment and trust
What parents can do to rebuild safety and connection
The difference between supporting vs. overwhelming your child
If you want to learn more about helping children and teens heal after betrayal, listen to more episodes about this topic on the Choose To Be podcast: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.
Want a podcast dedicated to helping teens and children with betrayal? Tune in to Morgan Ellsworth’s podcast: Healing Betrayed Families
Chapters:
04:11 Staying Grounded
09:43 Attunement and Vulnerability Goals
13:20 Vulnerability Without Dumping
19:01 Make It About the Kids
23:07 When Kids Blame Mom
27:31 Attachment and Love Bombing
31:27 Validate Kids’ Reality
37:06 Keep Showing Up
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!
Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW 8-week group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Start the group at any time and stay for eight weeks.
Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

96: How to Spot an Emotionally Shut-Down Man
What does an emotionally shut down man actually look like?
Spoiler: Usually not what people think.
In this powerful conversation, Luke and Alana explore the hidden reality of emotional shutdown in men—especially the high-performing, successful men who appear “fine” on the outside but are deeply disconnected on the inside.
From avoidant attachment to compulsive behavior, emotional numbness, and relational loneliness, this episode helps both men and betrayed partners understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.
Healing is possible. Deeper connection is possible.
But first—you have to feel.
Chapters
02:08 What Being Emotionally Shut Down Looks Like
04:21 High Performing Shut down
09:33 Inside the Shutdown
12:59 Signs and Logic
17:14 Learning Emotional Safety
19:55 Tears and the Body
22:21 Busy vs Stillness
24:08 Chasing Intensity
29:53 Numbness and Dissociation
38:28 Individuation and Reconnection
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

95: Humility in Recovery: Why Men Protect Their Identity After Betrayal - with Ryan Collins
What keeps men hiding — even after they’ve been caught?
In this powerful conversation, Luke Gordon and Ryan Collins, a peer mentor for Choose Recovery support groups, unpack the role humility plays in recovery from betrayal, addiction, shame, and relational disconnection.
Ryan vulnerably shares how fear, image protection, and shame kept him stuck in trickle truth for months — and how surrender and authenticity ultimately became the very thing that saved his marriage.
Together they explore:
The difference between humiliation and humility
Why men protect their identity after getting caught
How shame fuels defensiveness and trickle truth
Why accountability creates connection
How honesty became the very thing that saved Ryan’s marriage
The role of vulnerability, empathy, and surrender in healing
Chapters
01:31 Meet Ryan
03:49 Pillar One: Self Honesty
07:59 Trickle Truth and Surrender
12:25 Pillar Two: Being Influenced
18:48 Accountability in Conflict
22:24 Pillar Three: Identity Release
29: 59 Freedom and Daily Practice
32:45 Encouragement
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!
🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

94: Why You Feel Stuck: The Difference Between Sobriety and Real Change
Most men in recovery aren’t failing because they aren’t trying hard enough. They’re failing because they’re aiming at the wrong target.
In this episode, Luke sits down with Matt Wenger, MA, LPC, CCPS, CSAT and Executive Clinical Director at Begin Again Institute, to break down one of the biggest misunderstandings in sex addiction recovery: the difference between staying busy and actually healing.
They discuss:
What intensive treatment really does
Inpatient vs outpatient recovery
Why resentment quietly grows in early recovery
Why betrayed partners still don’t feel safe
How men move from sobriety into true recovery
If recovery feels like a hamster wheel, this conversation may explain why.
Chapters
01:21 Introducing Matt Wenger
04:43 Why Hard Work Stalls
09:11 What Intensives Actually Do
12:24 Two Weeks vs Longer Rehab
17:02 Partner Expectations After Intensive
21:54 Gym Metaphor for Recovery
27:02 Choosing Quality Treatment
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
NEW at Choose Recovery Services!
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!
🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey.
🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

93: Emotional Maturity in Recovery: How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding
You don’t need more information—you need a new response.
In this episode, Luke Gordon breaks down one of the most critical (and overlooked) skills in recovery: emotional maturity under pressure.
You’ll learn:
Why your body reacts before your mind can catch up
The real definition of emotional maturity (it’s not what you think)
How to create “the pause” that prevents damage in relationships
What responsibility actually looks like in real-time conflict
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, defensive, or out of control during hard conversations—this episode gives you a practical path forward.
Chapters
02:46 What Emotional Maturity Is
04:02 Reactivity to Responsibility
07:08 The Power of the Pause
09:40 Communicate the Pause
11:54 Return and Repair
14:26 Practice and Next Steps
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
NEW at Choose Recovery Services!
Wired for Pain - Join us April 26th for a FREE webinar for couples. Discover how your brain and body may be “wired” by past pain—and why that wiring keeps you stuck in patterns you can’t seem to break. This free webinar reveals the hidden connection between trauma, behavior, and healing, giving you practical tools to finally move from survival mode into lasting change.
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey.
🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

92: Breathwork and Somatic Healing: How to Reconnect With Your Body - with Steven Roccazzella
Why do so many men understand recovery…but still don’t feel better?
In this episode of Beyond the Facade, Luke Gordon sits down with breathwork practitioner Steven Roccazzella to explore the missing piece in healing: your body.
You’ll learn:
Why talk therapy alone isn’t enough
How breathwork regulates your nervous system
The surprising role of cold exposure in healing
What it actually means to feel “safe in your body”
Ready to go deeper? Learn more about Reclaimed - our men’s somatic intensive coming up in August, and register now to secure your spot!
Chapters
02:56 Steven’s Backstory
06:12 What Is Breathwork?
08:26 Cold Exposure Therapy
15:16 Wim Hof Method
21:55 Breathwork Basics
26:37 Stress Responses Explained
30:44 Somatic Trust
32:56 What Healing Looks Like
Connect with Steven
Instagram @steven_roccazzella
Email stevenroccazzella@gmail.com
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
LAST CHANCE! ❤️🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. Also explore attending our Help Her Heal men’s support group. A new group starts in April!
🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey.
🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

91: Why Empathy Breaks Down After Betrayal (And How to Fix It)
Healing after betrayal is one of the hardest journeys a couple can face — especially when both partners want the relationship to work but feel stuck in the same painful patterns.
This week Luke and Alana dive into one of the biggest challenges in betrayal recovery: Why progress in personal recovery doesn’t always translate into relational healing.
You’ll learn:
Why many men struggle to show empathy after betrayal
The difference between individual recovery and relational repair
What betrayed partners truly need to feel safe again
How emotional regulation impacts healing
Why healing after betrayal is often “Olympic-level emotional work”
If you’re trying to rebuild trust, understand your partner’s pain, or move forward after betrayal, this conversation will help you see the process more clearly — and remind you that healing is possible.
Don’t Miss Out!
If you connected with this conversation, we invite you to learn more about our Help Her Heal men’s intensive and support groups. Reach out to find out which option may be right for you! (702) 277-9145 | info@chooserecoveryservices.com
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
❤️🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. Also explore attending our Help Her Heal men’s support group. A new group starts in April!
🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey.
🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

90: The Truth About Conflict in Relationships (Especially After Betrayal)
Most people think conflict damages relationships, but avoiding conflict may be doing more harm than the conflict itself.
In this episode, Luke Gordon explains why healthy conflict is a critical part of recovery, connection, and emotional maturity—especially after betrayal.
You’ll learn:
Why conflict triggers the fight-flight-freeze response
How childhood patterns shape how we handle disagreements
Why your partner’s triggers may actually be an attempt to connect
How boundaries help regulate difficult conversations
Conflict doesn't have to destroy relationships. When handled intentionally, it can become the very thing that builds deeper trust and intimacy.
Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups.
Chapters
03:17 Conflict Avoidance
05:48 Triggers As Connection
07:18 Defining Conflict
10:31 Nervous System Cycle
15:54 Healthy Conflict Skills
19:07 Rupture and Repair
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
❤️🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT.
🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey.
🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

89: Betrayal Violence: Destructive Patterns That Can Continue After Infidelity
Apologies don’t automatically heal betrayal.
In fact, many people in recovery unknowingly continue hurting their partner through subtle defensive reactions, shutdown patterns, and attempts to control the healing process.
In this episode, Luke explores betrayal violence — a concept from Hope Ray that explains how relational harm can continue long after the original betrayal.
You’ll learn:
Why saying “I’m sorry” often isn’t enough
The destructive communication patterns that deepen betrayal trauma
The ABC pattern behind reactive behavior
Why shame and defensiveness sabotage repair
How awareness and accountability help rebuild safety
Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups.
Chapters
01:04 When Sorry Isn’t Enough
02:31 Betrayal Violence
04:55 Why These Patterns Form
07:19 Common Harmful Responses
10:53 The ABC Pattern
12:01 The Floating Saint
13:55 Accountability Without Shame
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
❤️🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT.
🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey.
🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

88: Why You Don’t Trust Yourself (And How to Rebuild Trust in Recovery)
Do you trust yourself?
In this episode, Luke dives into the erosion of self-trust that happens through years of secrecy, compulsive behavior, and shame—and how to rebuild it.
We unpack:
What self-trust actually means (hint: it’s not confidence)
The difference between shame and guilt in recovery
Why external validation won’t rebuild inner worth
How consistency—not perfection—restores alignment
Why betrayed partners can sense when self-trust is missing
If you’ve ever promised yourself “This time will be different”… this episode is for you.
Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups.
Chapters:
02:32 Defining Self-Trust Alignment
05:26 Shame Guilt and Fragmentation
06:10 Validation vs Inner Worth
08:20 Honesty Builds Integration
09:12 Betrayed Partners and Safety
11:15 How Self Trust Grows
12:15 Phase Two Curriculum Path
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
❤️🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT.
🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey.
✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

87: How Powerlessness and Entitlement Sabotage Healing
Resentment doesn’t always look like anger. Sometimes it hides behind effort, silence, or “doing everything right.”
This week Luke joins Alana Gordon on her podcast, Choose To Be, to explore how powerlessness and entitlement quietly fuel resentment, especially in recovery after betrayal or compulsive sexual behavior.
Together they unpack:
Why resentment often goes unnoticed until it causes damage
How silent scorekeeping creates emotional distance
The link between resentment, entitlement, and relapse risk
Why awareness alone isn’t enough–and what actually leads to healing
Chapters
04:05 Personal Experiences with Resentment
07:22 Silent Scorekeeping
09:45 Entitlement and Passive Aggressiveness
12:00 Processing Resentment and Finding Power
16:35 Practical Steps to Address Resentment
23:49 T-ball Analogy
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
❤️🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT.
🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey.
✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

86: Unlocking the Power of Embodied Healing in Recovery
Why does recovery still feel out of control—even when you know what to do?
This week Luke and Alana Gordon break down somatic work and why healing the nervous system is the missing layer in addiction recovery, betrayal repair, and emotional regulation.
Many people can explain recovery concepts perfectly—yet still react automatically under stress. That’s because insight alone can’t override a dysregulated nervous system.
Listen to learn:
What somatic work actually is (and what it’s not)
Why your body reacts before your brain can catch up
How trauma and addiction live in the nervous system
Why embodiment allows recovery tools to work under stress
How nervous system regulation creates felt safety in relationships
Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups.
Chapters
00:24 Understanding Somatic Work
03:41 The Importance of Embodied Healing
06:18 The Role of the Nervous System in Recovery
08:58 Challenges and Benefits of Somatic Work
13:04 What Somatic Work is Not
15:43 Relational Impact of Somatic Work
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
❤️🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT.
🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey.
✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

85: The Addictive System: Why Stopping Behavior Isn't Enough
Stopping the behavior isn’t the same as healing.
This week Luke breaks down why addiction is not a willpower problem—but a self-perpetuating system. Drawing from Patrick Carnes’ addictive system framework, this episode explains why sincere motivation often isn’t enough, why relapse happens even when behavior stops, and what true recovery actually requires.
You’ll learn:
Why addiction operates as a closed-loop system
How shame and secrecy fuel relapse
The hidden role of core beliefs and impaired thinking
Why partners often feel unsafe even after behavior stops
What it means to interrupt addiction upstream
This episode is essential for anyone stuck in the cycle—or who loves someone who is.
Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups.
Chapters
01:11 Understanding Addiction as a System
04:14 The Role of Core Beliefs in Addiction
05:29 Impaired Thinking and Its Impact
07:12 The Addictive Cycle Explained
10:07 The Importance of Addressing Secrecy
11:24 Partner's Perspective and System-Level Work
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
❤️🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT.
🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women.
✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal.
Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

84: How Attachment Shapes Relationships, Addiction, and Intimacy
Why do we keep choosing relationships that feel familiar—even when they hurt?
This week, Luke and Alana dive into how attachment shapes relationships, addiction, and intimacy at the nervous system level. Attachment isn’t about willpower or insight—it’s about survival patterns learned long before we had words.
You’ll learn:
How attachment patterns form in early childhood
Why anxious, avoidant, and fearful attachment styles repeat in adulthood
How attachment wounds drive compulsive behaviors and addiction
Why real healing requires nervous system regulation—not just insight
What it actually takes to move toward secure attachment
Chapters
00:29 Understanding Attachment Theory
02:18 Attachment in Early Relationships
05:01 Attachment Styles and Their Impact
12:19 Healing and Changing Attachment Styles
15:02 Attachment Patterns in Adult Relationships
21:51 Nervous System and Attachment
Explore this topic (and so many more!) in our Beyond the Facade men's groups. Register online or contact our office to learn more: info@chooserecoveryservices.com | 702.277.9145
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT.
Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey.
Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

83: Understanding Parts Work in Addiction Recovery
Sobriety doesn’t automatically create emotional safety—and partners know it.
This week Luke and Alana introduce parts work as a core Phase Two recovery framework. If you’ve ever felt emotionally hijacked, confused by your reactions, or ashamed that recovery still feels chaotic, this conversation names what’s actually happening beneath the surface.
You’ll learn:
Why emotional contradictions aren’t a character flaw
How protector parts drive addiction and defensiveness
The difference between sobriety and self-leadership
Why accountability increases—not decreases—with parts work
This episode is essential for individuals and couples navigating betrayal trauma, emotional whiplash, and the deeper work of relational healing.
Chapters
00:45 Introduction to Phase Two and Parts Work
02:58 Emotional Hijacking
06:31 The Role of Protector Parts
15:29 Self-Leadership and Emotional Maturity
21:42 Relational Impact and Partner’s Role
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey.
Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.
Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT.
We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

82: Building Emotional and Relational Capacity
Many men believe that once the behavior stops, recovery should feel resolved. But what happens when sobriety doesn’t lead to closeness, safety, or repair?
In this episode Luke introduces Phase Two recovery and explains why emotional maturity isn’t about calm behavior or compliance — it’s about capacity.
You’ll learn:
Why sobriety removes behavior but not the internal system behind it
How emotional underdevelopment shows up after acting out stops
What emotional, relational, and nervous system capacity actually mean
Why effort alone doesn’t register as safety for betrayed partners
Chapters
03:34 Understanding Emotional Maturity
06:38 Defining Emotional Capacity
09:31 Sobriety and Emotional Development
13:46 Invitation to Phase Two Work
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/rise-renew-restore-retreat/
✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/courage-to-thrive-betrayal-trauma-intensive/
❤️🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/help-her-heal-intensive/
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/intensive-scholarship/
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

81: Stepping Back to Move Forward
What happens when you’ve done everything right in recovery — and something still feels unresolved?
In this deeply honest episode, Luke shares why he’s stepping away from Choose Recovery Services for a season — not because of relapse, but because healing sometimes requires going deeper than insight, willpower, or knowledge.
Joined by Alana Gordon, this conversation explores:
Why recovery isn’t linear
The fear of “what if it doesn’t work?”
Somatic healing and trauma stored in the body
Differentiation between partners in long-term recovery
Why stepping back can actually be an act of leadership
If you’re a betrayed partner wondering if real healing is possible — or someone in recovery who feels stuck despite “doing the work” — this episode offers honesty, hope, and permission to keep going.
Chapters
00:26 Announcement From Luke
03:19 Luke’s Decision to Step Away
04:59 Alana’s Perspective on Healing
07:22 The Importance of Somatic Healing
10:01 Challenges and Realizations in Recovery
23:02 Trust and Autonomy in Relationships
33:18 Future Plans
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

80: Micro Risks: The Small Choices That Quietly Change Everything
Most people don’t stay stuck because they don’t want to change — they stay stuck because familiar pain feels safer than uncertain freedom.
In this episode, Luke explores why the nervous system chooses predictability over healing, especially for men in recovery from compulsive sexual behavior. Even when sobriety is solid and effort is high, trust often remains stalled — not because of lack of care, but because initiative requires risk.
You’ll learn:
Why trust doesn’t grow through crisis or big gestures
What “micro risks” are — and why they actually retrain the brain
How honesty builds safety when it’s voluntary, early, and consistent
The neuroscience behind effort, avoidance, and integrity
This episode is essential for anyone navigating betrayal trauma, relational repair, or long-term recovery.
Chapters
01:41 Challenges in Building Trust
02:50 Defining Micro Risks
04:02 Examples of Micro Risks
06:08 Micro Risks vs. Big Gestures
07:25 The Role of the Nervous System
11:34 Micro Risks in Relationships
14:26 The Anterior Cingulate Cortex
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
Season of Support - Join us for our LAST WEEK of a 4-week webinar series designed specifically for couples who want to stay connected, emotionally regulated, and intentional during the holidays — rather than simply surviving them. December 1, 8, 15, 22. Register to receive the Zoom link.
Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

79: Healing From Betrayal Trauma: One Couple's Story of Safety, Stability, and Grieving Together
What does real healing look like after betrayal?This week Chance and Crystal join Luke for an honest conversation about boundaries, nervous system healing, resentment, parts work, and rebuilding safety after years of secrecy.
Learn how Phase One stabilizes the relationship and how Phase Two transforms grief into connection.
Perfect for individuals and couples seeking guidance, clarity, and hope.
Chapters
01:24 Meet Chance and Crystal
02:07 Chance and Crystal’s Personal Story
07:01 The Importance of Self-Care and Boundaries
21:12 Navigating Resentment
24:05 Establishing Boundaries and Creating Safety
27:21 Safety and Stability
28:18 Grieving Together
31:56 Navigating Shared Grief and Vulnerability
38:18 The Importance of Individual Healing
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE.
Register Now!
Season of Support - Join us for a 4-week webinar series designed specifically for couples who want to stay connected, emotionally regulated, and intentional during the holidays — rather than simply surviving them. December 1, 8, 15, 22. Register to receive the Zoom link.
Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

78: Two Realities: When Truth, Trauma, and Denial Collide
Why don’t you and your partner agree on “what really happened”? In early recovery, trauma, shame, and denial collide — creating two completely different versions of reality that both feel true.
Luke explains:
• Trauma logic & worst-case thinking
• Denial fog & fragmented memory
• Why accuracy evolves in recovery
• How to validate without agreeing
• The 3-part integrity check that rebuilds trust
Tune in for a grounded, compassionate episode for couples healing from betrayal.
Chapters
01:51 Understanding the Betrayed Partner’s Reality
03:16 Exploring the Betraying Partner’s Reality
05:30 Navigating Conflicting Realities
06:32 Redefining Accuracy in Early Recovery
12:33 Integrity Checks and Empathic Validation
17:03 Season of Support Webinar
Register Now!
Season of Support - Join us for a 4-week webinar series designed specifically for couples who want to stay connected, emotionally regulated, and intentional during the holidays — rather than simply surviving them. December 1, 8, 15, 22. Register to receive the Zoom link.
Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!
Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Jan 27-30, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

77: The Betrayal Bind with Michelle Mays: Healing the Attachment Wound After Infidelity
How do you recover when the person you love has betrayed you? Author Michelle Mays (LPC, CSAT-S) joins Luke Gordon to explore The Betrayal Bind — the painful paradox of needing the very person who hurt you. Discover how attachment theory, betrayal trauma, and nervous system science explain what happens after infidelity and how both partners can rebuild trust.
Topics include:
The three wounds of betrayal: emotional, attachment, and sexual
Why “attachment ambivalence” feels like chaos
How betrayed and betraying partners can reconnect safely
Connect with Michelle:
💡 Brought to you by Choose Recovery Services — guiding individuals and couples through betrayal trauma recovery.
Chapters
01:18 Introducing Michelle Mays
04:48 The Betrayal Bind
07:06 Attachment and Betrayal
11:30 Navigating Safe Relationships
13:30 Wounds From Betrayal
18:04 Sexual Injuries and Recovery
21:31 Attachment Ambivalence
28:02 Attunement and Responsiveness
32:08 Building Trust Through Consistency
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!
Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Jan 27-30, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

76: Feeling Defensive? The Four-Step Shift That Rebuilds Trust and Connection
Ever notice how defensiveness shows up even when your intentions are good?
In this episode, Luke Gordon reveals why defensiveness is a biological protection strategy — not a moral failure — and how to shift it into connection.
You’ll learn:
Why your nervous system reacts before you do
How empathy changes the way truth lands
The four-step shift: Pause, Name, Acknowledge, Respond
How to rebuild emotional safety after conflict
💡 “Truth lands differently when empathy comes first.”
Discover tools for healing and communication at ChooseRecoveryServices.com
Chapters
00:00 – “You’re being defensive!” — why it stings
01:50 - Understanding defensiveness
03:46 - The answering trap
06:14 Recognizing the signals
07:42 Tools for shifting from defensiveness to connection
10:15 Practice and Takeaways
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

75: The Moment Recovery Becomes Real - with Isy Williams
Ready to move beyond “checking the boxes” in recovery? In this powerful conversation, Luke Gordon and Isy Williams, coaches with Choose Recovery Services, explore the turning point when betrayal trauma recovery and sexual addiction recovery shift from something you do to something you live.
Through personal stories and hard-won wisdom, they share how emotional healing, integrity, and authentic connection create lasting transformation—and why embracing discomfort is the key to real change.
What You'll Learn:
The difference between halfway commitment and full immersion in recovery
Why ownership matters more than compliance or perfectionism
How embracing discomfort leads to authentic transformation
Learn more about Isy and book a complimentary session here.
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

74: Perfectionism and Shame
Ever notice how the harder you try to get everything right, the more isolated and empty you feel? This week Luke unpacks perfectionism not as a personality flaw, but as a survival strategy—a shield we use to avoid shame and rejection.
Drawing on Brené Brown's work and his own recovery journey, he explores why we chase an impossible standard and what it costs us in connection, authenticity, and peace.
What You'll Learn:
Why perfectionism is fear-based, not excellence-driven
How shame and control fuel the need to be "perfect"
Practical questions to shift from performance to presence
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

73: The Myth of "I Told You Everything"
What if claiming you’ve shared everything with your partner is actually sabotaging your recovery? In this eye-opening episode, Luke explains why the statement “I’ve told you everything is so damaging.
He reveals how recovery works in layers, why humility trumps certainty, and how acknowledging what you don’t know yet actually builds more trust than claiming you know it all.
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
What you’ll learn:
Why claiming full awareness breeds stagnation and relapse in recovery
How denial creates constructed realities that feel safe but aren’t fully true
How believing you’ve “made it” shuts down growth
Chapters
01:10 The Problem of “I’ve Told You Everything”
02:07 Constructed Realities and Denial
04:33 Addictive Systems and Belief Structures
07:40 The Illusion of Full Awareness
13:43 Managing Outcomes vs. Living in Truth
15:10 Practical Language for True Awareness
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

72: You Can't Shame Yourself Into Change
Are you beating yourself up in the name of accountability and in the process accidentally blocking the very change you’re after? This week Luke challenges the myth that shame leads to transformation, sharing a powerful D-Day story where his self-loathing actually prevented him from hearing his partner’s pain.
He breaks down why self-compassion isn’t about escaping accountability; it’s what makes genuine accountability possible.
Listen to learn:
Why shame blocks empathy and keeps you stuck
How self-compassion and accountability can exist in the same breath
What self-compassion actually looks like in recovery (and it’s not letting yourself off the hook!)
Chapters
00:15 Luke’s Personal Story of Shame
01:25 Understanding Self-Compassion
03:19 Debunking Myths About Self-Compassion
08:59 Real-Life Examples of Self-Compassion
LAST CHANCE TO REGISTER!
Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.
We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Apply for scholarships here.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

71: Why Can't My Partner See the Good?
Why is it so hard for a betrayed partner to see the positive changes you’ve made? This week Luke is again joined by Alana Gordon (LMFT, co-owner and founder of Choose Recovery Services, and president of APSATS) and together they delve into the complexities of betrayal trauma healing.
Listen in as Luke gives a powerful analogy of hiking with a mountain lion to explain the brain’s constant search for emotional safety.
Tune in to learn:
The necessity of consistent positive actions
The importance of letting go of instant validation
How to truly rebuild trust over time
Chapters
01:17 Understanding Betrayal Trauma
01:55 The Mountain Lion Analogy
04:11 Emotional Safety and Trust
08:57 Advice for Individuals Seeking Recovery
Register Now!
Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.
We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Apply for scholarships here.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

70: What Does Real Recovery Look Like? Part 2
Are you struggling to know what real recovery and change looks like? This week Alana Gordon (LMFT, co-owner and founder of Choose, and president of APSATS) is back to continue the discussion about red flags and green flags when it comes to recovery. Listen in to hear about boundaries, lifestyle shifts, and empathy.
Learn to identify toxic patterns, embrace healthy changes, and cultivate deep empathy for yourself and others as you heal.
Tune in to learn:
Why real recovery requires changing your environment and relationships, not just your behavior
How to rid yourself of the “what about me” mentality
The difference between performative and genuine empathy
Chapters
01:21 Boundaries and Lifestyle Shifts
03:48 Rationalizing Risky Environments
11:53 External Promises vs. Internal Guardrails
13:19 Commitment to Safety Over Old Patterns
16:47 Healthy Rhythms and Self-Care
20:45 Boundaries and Values
28:37 Empathy and Attunement
33:45 Heartfelt Empathy
Register Now!
Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.
We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

69: What Does Real Recovery Look Like?
Are you truly in recovery, or are you just performing? This week Luke welcomes Alana Gordon to the podcast (LMFT, co-owner and founder of Choose, and president of APSATS). Together they explore the difference between surface-level recovery and authentic transformation in this no-holds-barred conversation.
They reveal the green flags and red flags that separate real healing from going through the motions—and why the work you resist most might be exactly what you need.
Listen to learn:
The difference between "being in recovery" vs. "working recovery"
Red flags like selective effort and performing only under pressure
Green flag behaviors that show authentic recovery progress
Chapters
01:05 Introducing Alana
04:53 Honesty in Recovery
15:38 Sobriety and Accountability
18:53 Selective Effort
24:46 Performing Under Pressure
30:53 The Power of Personal Power
Register Now!
Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register HERE.
Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT.
Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.
We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

68: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Conflict
Do you feel like since the betrayal, your relationship with your partner is like a house you are carefully trying to rebuild and your partner often comes in with a sledgehammer to “test the walls”?
This week Luke explores why this might happen and what that means for healing. This episode may completely shift how you view conflict in your relationships.
Listen to learn:
The House Analogy - why your partner may appear to be trying to destroy what you are building
Your Conflict Blueprint - how your family of origin shaped your relationship with conflict
Reframing Conflict - why conflict is the doorway to intimacy, not something to avoid
Chapters
01:35 The House Analogy
03:54 The Sledgehammer
08:51 Understanding Conflict and Its Impact
09:23 Conflict Isn’t the Enemy
11:41 Family of Origin
Register Now!
Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register HERE.
Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT.
Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.
We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

67: What Real Recovery Looks Like to Your Partner
When you’re in recovery but nothing seems to be helping your relationship, it can feel like you’re powerless to create real change. This week Luke welcomes Isy Williams (fellow Choose Recovery Services coach) and together they reveal what betrayed partners are actually looking for (and it’s not perfection!).
Listen to learn:
The difference between consistency and perfection
How to shift from external motivation to values-based recovery
Four specific signs betrayed partners need to see to rebuild trust
Chapters
01:02 Introducing Isy Wiliams
04:49 Deconstructing Lies in Recovery
17:14 The Importance of Consistency
22:55 Perfection vs. Consistency
25:38 Grace and Patience
31:51 Importance of Self-Driven Recovery
Register Now!
Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register HERE.
Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT.
Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.
We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

66: Free Will in Addiction Recovery
Do you ever wonder why you keep repeating the same destructive patterns despite wanting to change? This week Luke tackles a huge question in recovery: Do we actually have free will, or is everything predetermined by our past trauma and brain chemistry? This isn't just philosophical debate—it's about understanding what actually needs to be in place for real transformation to happen.
What You'll Learn:
The difference between free will and determinism, and why most people get stuck in the extremes
The 5 essential requirements that must be present for true choice to even be possible
How to reframe recovery from "just try harder" to creating the right conditions for sustainable change
Chapters
01:02 Free Will vs Determinism
04:38 Exploring the Extremes and Middle Ground
07:26 Requirements for Free Will
13:45 Questions to Ponder
Register Now!
Our next men’s intensive is coming up! Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register HERE.
Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT.
We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

65: Breaking the Shell - How Men's Intensives Unlock Embodied Healing
You know the recovery scripts by heart, but when your partner is triggered, it still feels performative and hollow. Sound familiar?
In this powerful episode, Luke welcomes Hali Roderick (fellow Choose To Be coach) and Tim, a participant from the recent Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive. Tim shares how somatic work and community vulnerability can crack open the shells we've built around our hearts, moving us from performative recovery to authentic healing.
What You'll Learn:
Why recovery scripts fall short and how to embody real empathy
How body-based healing breaks through emotional barriers
Why vulnerability in community accelerates healing
Chapters
01:06 Meet Hali and Tim
03:58 The Purpose of the Help Her Heal Intensive
09:36 Somatic Work: The Key to Healing
16:15 The Value of Community
20:41 The Nervous System’s Response to Trauma
24:20 Being Ready For Change
26:39 Family of Origin Analogy
Register Now!
Our next men’s intensive is coming up! Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register HERE.
- Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
- Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT.
We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

64: Understanding Attachment Wounds in Sexual Addiction Recovery
Ever wondered why certain behaviors feel impossible to break, even when you desperately want to change? In this eye-opening episode, Luke and guest Laura Fisher dive deep into the hidden world of attachment wounds and how childhood experiences shape our adult relationships and coping mechanisms.
You'll discover why recovery isn't a destination but an ongoing journey—like walking up a down escalator that never stops moving.
Laura Fisher is a fellow coach at Choose Recovery Services. Learn more about her here and book a session with her here.
Listen to Learn:
The importance of understanding your attachment style
How trauma can create sexual addiction patterns
Why recovery requires consistent, ongoing effort
Chapters
01:09 Welcoming Laura
01:44 Understanding Attachment and Its Impact
06:44 Attachment Wounds and Their Manifestations
18:52 Rewiring the Nervous System
25:31 Somatic Healing
Register Now!
Our next men’s intensive is coming up! Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register HERE.
Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round .
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!
Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.
Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.
Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

63: Redefining Self-Compassion
Do you find yourself thinking that being tough on yourself is the key to growth? It’s not! This week Luke dismantles seven common myths about self-compassion and reveals how being kinder to yourself can fuel real change, recovery, and connection.
Listen to discover:
Why self-compassion strengthens accountability
How self-compassion is a strength, not a weakness
How self-compassion in moments of failure can spur growth
Chapters:
02:07 Understanding Self-Compassion
03:29 Myth: Self-Compassion Means Avoiding Responsibility
03:59 Myth: Self-Compassion is Selfish
06:30 Myth: Self-Compassion Lowers Standards
07:13 Myth: You Have to Earn Self-Compassion
08:23 Myth: Self-Compassion is Fake Positivity
09:37 Myth: Self-Compassion Only Works for Good People
10:27 Myth: Self-Compassion Means Avoiding Hard Emotions
Register Now!
Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!
Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.
Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.
Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

62: Is It Okay to Acknowledge That Someone Is Attractive?
How quickly can someone go from noticing to fantasizing? This week Luke answers a listener’s question about how the brain processes attraction and the resulting sexual response.
Get answers to these three questions:
How quickly can someone go from noticing to fantasizing?
Where does the three-second rule fit into the brain sexual response cycle?
Is it okay to acknowledge that someone is attractive?
Listen to Episode 46 for background on the neuroscience behind the body’s sexual response.
Chapters
01:29 Recap of Episode 46
03:24 Question 1
05:12 Question 2
08:29 Question 3
Register Now!
Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah.
We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!
Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support.
Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.
Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.
Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

61: Discover Your True Values - with Sy Bee
How do you make decisions when you’re not sure you can trust your emotions? This week Luke welcomes Sy Bee back to resume their discussion from last week. They continue exploring the differences between emotionally-based and values-based decisions.
Tune in to hear:
Sy’s personal experiences of triumphs and failures
What is meant by “shadow emotions”
The dangers of letting your inner child drive your decisions
Chapters
01:26 Emotionally Based Decisions
04:37 Understanding Values
08:17 Identifying Personal Values
15:16 Exploring the Root of Behaviors
20:34 Shadow Expressions
27:16 Integrity and Trust in Recovery
32:50 Discovering Core Values
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Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!
Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support.
Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.
Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.
Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com