Good Things Happen
By Coco
Well, that is exactly like our lives.
We don’t always know the meaning of an event or the impact of a decision in the present, except we do - they are what we make them to be in our story.
I believe good things happen in mine.
Good Things HappenSep 06, 2023
Intercultural Child-Parent Relationships: We Do Therapy So Our Kids & Parents Don’t Have To (ft. Joy)
As first-generation immigrants with a Chinese upbringing and an North American education, we experience cultural and generational conflicts with our parents in a unique way. However, our relationships are stronger for it, and we are optimistic that our self-work can save both our parents and future kids a trip to the therapist's office.
2:36 Intense family time with meltdowns and reflections
6:34 We never had a teenage rebellion
9:19 To keep constant contact, is it a tyranny?
23:53 Our cultural conflicts with parents as first-generation immigrants
26:00 With the intention of care comes the impact of judgments
30:18 Moms reject compliments as a coping mechanism
44:25 Feeling like a puppet in their master plan of conventional success
48:08 Oversensitive or genuinely traumatized?
52:10 Mom told me I was not pretty
1:00:23 Unconditional love, transactional affection
1:05:03 It's their first time being parents too
References:
- 孩子睡了 (She's Asleep) Podcast
- 奇葩说 (QI PA SHUO) Debate Show S3E18
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Music from: https://uppbeat.io/t/mvmt-music/carefree-vibes
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Bonus: Letting Go, Being Mindful, and Others
Catching up with my friend who has been on exchange programs for almost a year to talk about the things in our lives and on our minds.
04:48 I feel happier after selling the bathroom scale
08:28 Cultural difference of "Getting what you want"
17:06 I wish I could go back and learn better in middle school
23:25 "You will sweep the street if you don't get better grades"
26:50 Reinventing my corporate persona at a new job
30:35 Traits of success = masculine?
34:24 Past, future, and present
37:04 Are we too two-dimensional?
39:05 Everything but food will end up in the landfill
References:
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Music from: https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/bright-life
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Toxic Relationships with Food and Body (ft. Lvbao)
绿宝 (Lvbao) and I open up about our past struggles with unhealthy eating habits and body image. While we find ourselves in a better place today, the ghosts of our toxic relationships with our bodies and food continue to occupy our minds.
13:45 6-year-old Lvbao got called "fat" by other parents
22:10 Dieting was the zeitgeist of middle school
25:21 COVID lockdown - binge, fast, and repeat
39:04 Feeling "mentally fatter" in Asia
44:34 Every body has its natural state
51:02 Weight dictates my mood from waking up to going to bed
56:22 I could finally give up that last bite
57:51 Listening to the body: am I hungry or just stressed?
1:02:24 Parents telling us to lose weight over video calls
1:04:48 Fatphobia: why don't you just eat less?
1:07:54 The famine generation cannot comprehend emotional eating
1:09:09 -"I am so fat" -"No you are not, I'm fat!"
1:12:18 The guilty conscious of posting pictures of my body
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Music from: https://uppbeat.io/t/simon-folwar/happy-places
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Making Friends as Young Adults: From Awkward First Dates to Chosen Family (ft. Joy)
I invited my friend Joy to chat about adult friendships, including our own. We were initially introduced by a mutual acquaintance, and on our very first friend date, we felt an instant connection. Seven months and ten-ish? of hangouts later, we sat down together to reflect on our first impressions, emotional milestones, what we value in friends, and how our approaches to and understanding of friendships have evolved along with our personal growth. 9:30 first “date" exceeded our expectations 12:46 maybe she doesn’t like me 15:00 friends are people who can teach us about skin care, or pottery 19:09 the urge to break the FOB international students stereotype 27:13 why double eye-lid stickers are a red flag for me 30:54 the lack of emotional capacity is a red flag for Joy 37:20 friends need to be comfortable with critism 41:03 “if you can only choose three friends, pick a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher”?! 46:26 if I meet my childhood friends now, we might not even like each other 57:34 why are relationships so much harder than friendships 63:23 we can’t shut off our second brain when recording 🫶 Support me by leaving a five-star review and following the podcast on Instagram: @goodthingshappenpod Music from: https://uppbeat.io/t/simon-folwar/happy-days License code: R0SZKCJSLG5BGVQD
Salary Negotiation: If You Don’t Ask, You Don’t Get (ft. Chetan & Chayapat)
Hello everyone, welcome to the first episode of Good Things Happen podcast, where I share conversations and reflections on the things that happened and the good that came out of it. 🫶 Support me by leaving a five-star review and following the podcast on Instagram: @goodthingshappenpod In today's episode, I had the honor and pleasure of chatting with Chetan and Chayapat, a couple I met during my visit to Toronto. Chetan is a social media, content & brand marketing professional and has helped Fortune 100 brands such as Ford and Pepsi stand out, be liked and loved by tens of millions online. He recently made a permanent move to Canada after having worked in Australia, India, and Thailand for over 10 years. Over the past 5 years, he has successfully negotiated several substantial pay raises, doubling his salary twice. He firmly believes that “If you don’t ask, you don’t get”. https://www.linkedin.com/in/thechetanbsingh/ Chayapat is an international trade and investment expert who has successfully led and developed several large-scale business cases for both companies and governments. With over 9 years of experience, she has worked for the governments of South Korea, Poland, and Canada. Through successful negotiations with her employers, she has secured salary increases and other perks and benefits totaling more than 250%. https://www.linkedin.com/in/chayapat/ I am a software developer based in Canada with 1 year of experience working at a health tech startup, I recently started a new job at a fintech company, for which I negotiated an 11% increase in base salary and 2 additional months of fully remote work. I remember chatting with them about my then circumstances: my company was expecting a layoff, and I had just begun job searching with lots of anxiety but zero leads, they assured me that I would find a job soon and that when I do, it is essential that I never accept the first salary offer. Like many young professionals, I would have been happy enough to receive any job offer, but never thought about negotiating my salary, as I progressed in my job search and researched more on salary negotiation, I now have so much to tell my younger self and many of my peers who are unaware of this simple yet vital step in one's career development. Now I'm here to share with you what I learned from my latest experience of salary negotiation, along with Chetan and Chayapat who bring a wide array of professional experiences and motivating insights. Together, we will break down why you should negotiate your salary, and how to do it the right way. Although our current jobs are based in Canada, the advice we share will be relevant across industries and job markets around the world, hope you enjoy listening! Music from: https://uppbeat.io/t/simon-folwar/happy-days License code: R0SZKCJSLG5BGVQD