What can we say, we missed Mortal Kombat so much we decided to go after its dad: 1988's cult classic Bloodsport! Directed by Newt Arnold and starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bloodsport is about a guy who goes to Hong Kong and fights a bunch of people. Somehow, Forest Whitaker is there. That's about it, that's all you need.

The manatees do a deep dive into the history and traditions underpinning competitive martial arts and jump-tackle the darkest secrets of the MMA underground, such as how shorts make you a better fighter, why you can't just stop after learning the Dim Mak, how the UFC is this movie's fault, and why Andre The Giant should have been in this movie. And, just because we know everyone's asking, yes, there is a lengthy segment on JCVD's underwear. Don't worry, we've got you covered. Unlike JCVD's butt. Ha-HA!

A Knight's Tale (2001)