Guantanamo Baes

Holy vibe shift, Batman! The cousins return to take inventory of the past year as they discuss everything from tariffs strike-downs and James Talarico to the Academy Awards and Lana Del Rey's embrace of the Southern Gothic aesthetic. Julian wonders about the wider implications of Punch the Monkey's popularity, while Brian assures the audience that, while he hasn't seen every episode of Heated Rivalry, he likes it very much.

It's mostly a White Lotus season finale recap - we're pretty much disassociating from everything else rn!

The Baes teach Cuba how to establish an Oligarchy and revel in the schadenfreude of Emilia Perez's disappointing Oscar campaign.

Boy, what a year it's been, huh? (Lemon, it's February). The Baes dissect the YOLO actions of the New American Empire, Julian talks about taking work calls from an eliptical, and Brian talks about a family whose wealth is tenuously held together by a series Taco Bell franchises.

I know no one cares about the LA fires anymore, but here's a little distillation of what it was like when we were in the middle of it.

Obviously lots to talk about in the year and we're still only 3 weeks into January. We're not going anywhere, hope y'all aren't either.

Hope everyone's having a "Wicked" good December! The Baes talk Yacht Rock, their favorite Cuban dishes for the holidays, and Julian shares his top movies of 2024.

Strap in.

It's the Menendez Brothers episode! The Baes dive into the re-opening of the infamous Beverly Hills murder case and Julian gets so mad at Brian at one point he literally storms out of the room. Boy, these Cubans have a real temper!

The Baes investigate the mysterious death of Hvaldimir, the Norweigan Beluga whale accused of subterfuge.

Julian also laments the lack of weathered looking Hollywood leading men and Brian uses his grad school education to ask for help.

The Baes watched the Presidential debate so you don't have to!

Or if you did watch it, that's cool too! Relive the highlights with us cause we got something to say about everything in this one.

Brian and Julian address the BRAT of it all, the Kamalaissance, and Cuba's (lack of) athletes in this year's Olympics. Also, Julian shares poo poo stories from the pool and the boys get into a kerfuffle over Olympic surfing.

The Baes discuss the sudden breakup of Tenacious D, the rise of gay fascism, and why the RNC is considered Grindr's Super Bowl.

Was Robin Williams a joke thief? Are we ready for a Brat Pack revival? Will any of this even matter if the nukes end up flying with Russian warships loitering just off the Florida coast?

Julian shoots guns in the country, security at Cannes get handsy with Kelly Rowland, and the Baes express their differing points of view when it comes to hanging out under bridges. The Pope throwing out gay slurs also emboldens Brian to try an Italian accent way too much in this one.

Y'all, we watched the Garfield Movie after recording this and literally walked out of the theater. Please don't give them your money, it's so bad.

How many Peabodys does one have to curl to get a good workout? Would you try to steal a manual transmission car if you couldn't drive stick? Should people have better vocabulary when it comes to describing fashion?

It’s an episode of advents! Brian and Julian get into a Khruangbin pissing contest, the Baes lament the rise of "Mid TV," and we fangirl over the upcoming Sydney Sweeney/Ana de Armas collab.

The Baes dish the chisme on the past schemes and recent sentencing of Cuban spy cosplaying as American diplomat, Manuel Rocha. Also, Brian reaches out to the last person to ever cast OJ Simpson in a film and the palace kitties of Mexico receive a well deserved social safety net.

Brian and Julian dissect the Goya of it all behind LA's consortium of Cuban bakery royalty; Sylvester Stallone forgets that people aren't ugly, they're just poor; and after long, internal debate we decided that the pig stays in the picture.

What's at the core of the layers being peeled away by Serial's latest exposé on Gitmo? Why are casino owners so excited every time Bruno Mars walks into the room? And are men allowed to have mental health issues?

Cuba’s got an AirBnB problem, we learn why the left hand is the Devil’s Hand, and RuPaul will sell you a copy of Hitler's Mein Kampf below market value if you’ll let him.

The world's a minefield and we stepped on pretty much every one of them in this episode. All I know is we're both so excited to see what the Latin-influenced pagoda is going to look like at Cuba's new embassy in South Korea.

Get in the car, betch, it's our Jesus year! Brian gets a religious education, Julian spills some J-Lo tea, and Cuba may (or may not) be facing a cybersecurity attack. And it's still only February?

Julian breaks down the parallels between the Cuban Revolution and the movie Saltburn. ***Fair Warning: This episode contains gratuitous spoilers to the film Saltburn***

Are we able to manifest our own conspiracy theories? Is this turbulent decade simply the dawning of the Age of Aquarius? And will there always be a market for Victorian period pieces?

Oh just hit play. The Baes are back and better than ever in 2024, what more could you possibly want?!

Brian and Julian examine the life of recently indicted diplomat-turned-informant (or informant-turned-diplomat?) Manuel Rocha. Also, our year-end review and Julian's top movies of 2023!

I'm selling out our decription this week to get y'all to come to our UCB show this Tuesday, 12/5 at 7 PM. Also, was Julian overly defensive during this week's World According to Jules? Or is it just me? Massive shout-out to Caroline Cotter by the way. We love y'all

Have we missed anything? Brian was in Egypt, Julian was in Texas, and we just wanted to make sure y'all are ok.

Are we the real pigs for declaring war on pigs? Is it gay to be homophobic? Also, Brian and Julian discuss a story in the NFL that isn't Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.

Also, we hope to see you at our UCB show on 11/27 :)

Aye yai yai...it's the Israel/Palestine episode.

Is the US having a fun little coup moment cozying up to Cuba's burgeoning private sector? Is conceptual art officially over? And is it just us or is ever brunette these days calling themseles a "woman of color?"

The Baes are in the studio with one of our Bucharest Besties: actor, comedian, and writer Smaranda Luna, who explains why theater should be accessible to even the worst among us and why Drew Berrymore isn't as cute as she thinks she is.

How far is too far for a gender reveal party? Did the Great British Bake-Off bend their knee to the woke mob? Also, Julian repents for his false land recognition last week.

Can Cuba's crackdown on public dissent give us a fun little Da Vinci Code moment? Is there anti-penetrative messaging in the Peter Rabbit films? Was the Desperate Housewives Vanity Fair cover one of the most iconic images of the Bush era?

Are Austin an Palm Springs sister cities? Would you ever smuggle diet coke if it wasn't allowed overseas? Also, Brian and Julian playfully lose the thread again.

Has mainstream culture become too gay? Or has gay culture become too mainstream? Also, Julian is forced to talk about sports.

What does an emerging private sector mean for the people of Cuba? Are Sea Otters to surfers what Orcas are to billionaires? And Brian learns that some gay literature is not for the faint of heart.

Should Cubans be allowed to play Jews on Broadway? Who do you call when you want to divorce your ghost husband? Who wins in a beauty contest between Antony Blinken and Hunter Biden?

The Baes sit down with activist, Jordan David, to discuss his recent visit to Cuba as a queer delegate, why the mainstream adoption of Pride has all but erased its original mission, and why he does not find comparisons to Obama flattering (spoiler: war crimes).

Why is Cuba getting cozy with Russia again? We've been over this before! Also, we love big girls. Happy Pride.

Resident Bad Boy, JT Kelley (@godsfavoritecomedian), chats with us about his time in the Austin Communist chapter and why today his primary political philosophy is more vacation days.

Who understands the universe better between Stephen Hawking and Lana Del Rey? Is Elon Musk inadvertently bridging the gap between the US and Cuba? Oh yeah, and Julian wants to be a mermaid.

Who gets custody of Cuba in the International divorce between the East and West? Would Brian have had a longer career as a Go-Go Dancer if he had unionized? Is "The Bachelor" a Right-Wing Psy Op?

Should Charlize Theron be elected Queen of South Africa? Will SoulCycle re-emerge after the collapse of Peloton? Also, did you know Che Guevara was a homophobic murderer?

Has Tchaikovsky made you orgasm in public lately? Were you once a cat in turn of the century Paris in a past life? Should Julian just say 'the hell with it' and become a juicy character actress?

Has a charming bartender tried to sell you on Amway lately? Does Ben Afleck put on a telanovela voice when he speaks Spanish? And does anyone else feel kinda bad for the Christians living in LA?

Will Taylor Swift return to country music after her second presidential term? How many people did Pope Francis do the horizontal mambo with before he pledged his life to the cloth? And will this generation of aging ravers make good ear doctors?

¡Also, congratulations Dr. Jose Pablo Llongueras!

Does voter turnout rate matter if there's only one candidate? Is Gwyneth Paltrow a menace on the slopes? And have you unknowingly harassed a pod of dolphins?