Bevin: A Femme Over 40 and her Friends

Meg Wolciffer is an Ordained Spiritualist Minister, Spirit Artist, Teacher, and Certified Medium with the Indiana Association of Spiritualists. She's also my mediumship development teacher! We discuss some bascis of mediumship, why do Spiritual senses close and reopen, how spirits move energy and what is Spirit Art. Also Meg's experience serving under Don't Ask Don't Tell in the military, coming out, being a single mom and developing her spiritual gifts.

Meghan Tonjes returns to the podcast to offer a different perspective about going No Contact than Oprah and Mel Robbins purport. Just because Boomers & Gen X put up with abusive behavior and authority trauma doesn't mean we have to--we have choices.

The being disowned by a parent to reconciliation path CAN happen and her story is incredibly sweet. Tonjes offers a nuanced and deep reflection about her experience moving back to Michigan and Aunt life: the joys of parenting without the intense commitment.

Our previous conversation, audio episode 12: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0HrT7lhY3sWjjROxDbbCLY?si=09f47219132947b8

That time Tonjes filmed herself learning to dance at my aerobics class Fat Kid Dance Party when we were both in Los Angeles: https://youtu.be/Qvcyv0PsoAY?si=XHbc6KKr1e1VWBls

Meghan Tonjes on IG: @meghantonjes @oopsiebagsie @momentominis

Given that the circumstances continue to be unprecedented and difficult to digest I wanted to share how I'm finding joy. Joy is a revolutionary practice in a society that profits off our anger and distraction. I discuss rage release aerobics, holding space, the time I dated two women named Jen simultaneously, Brandi Carlile, Sinead O'Connor, 90s music and so much more! 

ROMANCE YOUR FRIENDS, okay!? I went into this conversation with astrologer Colin Bedell with the stated intention to mine his broken heart. We talk releasing defensiveness, capacity, resourcing ourselves mind / body / spirit, living alone, heated rivalry, long island, anticipatory resentment, compliment serenades, reading every Zodiac sign and so much more.

Previous episodes with Colin: Episodes 68, 96, 142, 185

My solo episode on releasing defensiveness: Episode 197

A solo episode life update on Imbolc! Reflecting on the Wheel of the Year practice with my mental wellness. My advice if you ever have the opportunity to shift a situationship to a relationship. What making sourdough bread is teaching me about failing forward. Developing my psychic mediumship and the next steps in my life coming into focus. 

Support the Podcast:

After being raised in a Christian cult and shifting into atheism, Julia King Boone has developed her own understanding of spirituality and spiritual practice. Recovering her connection to her body and intution, she now helps others nurture their spiritual practice and self trust. Join us as we talk about her story of what it was like to be born into community and culture (we all long to be in a cul de sac full of friends and there were some benefits) and the process of learning ourselves and bodies.

We have so much help in the unseen world around us. Jes Baker is back on the podcast to talk about how to use energy exchange with altar spaces to amplify that connection and help them help us in our earthly pursuits. If you talk to rocks, trees and the ocean you will find kindred spirits in this episode!

What happens when a psychic prediction is incorrect? Listener question about how to proceed with trust and faith when predictions have failed to come to pass. I talk about timelines, interconnectedness, and alignment leading to mistakes sometimes. I share my fav visual technique for asking for likelihood from my guides. And I talk about how one of my favorite psychics who has gotten many predictions correct for me over the eight years I've seen her predicted a big death in my life that hasn't (yet) come to pass. 

Beloved friend Shylah Joie Hill returns to the podcast with the debut of a new name but serving the same Southern sweet & spicy spiritually aligned perspective! Shylah was raised Pentecostal / Church of God and has pursued her own faith reconstruction. She's also done some reconstruction cosmetically and worked in the industry so we talk about cosmetic surgery as a concept and details. It's a balance of loving yourself as you are inside and also allowing for the external changes to help align your aesthetic to how you want it to be--for you, not for beauty standards.

One of the most common questions I have received is about making friends. I love my friends they are my favorite part of life and I've worked hard to establish and maintain them. Friendship requires effort but the reward is infinitely greater than the work. Once you're out of school we have way less default friendships and need to design our lives to enable a flow of friendship.

A catch up episode reflecting on recent growth, healing milestones and personal revelations. Reorienting myself to the Wheel of the Year instead of linear capitalist striving. Developing my psychic and mediumship gifts. Since we become the five people we spend the most time with I chose five women who have traits or abilities I admire and have been studying them.

Here's the (free) spiritual hygiene meditation I talked about:

Melissa is a queer femme, politicized relationship coach and Swiftie! She talks about the Gaylor theory and reflects on the engagement news, how Taylor presents her public image and emotionally based art. How, perhaps, the way Travis speaks of Taylor and supports her could help end the male loneliness epidemic.

Melissa also reflects on turning 40, navigating a life crisis by asking for help and allowing her internet fans and friends to support her to get to a place where she can heal.

I'm obsessed with how to easily infuse vitality into my day to day life! Bianca, a personal trainer, athlete, expert on the GOATA method and vibrant Sagittarius is full of great tips. We visit and explore ways to add small physical movement changes to feel better from a body positive, Health at Every Size perspective! (GOATA= Greatest of all Time Athletes / Actions is a system focused on optimizing biomechanics and restoring natural movement patterns.)

Previous episodes with Bianca:

Beauty is how we decorate our time and space! I've been working in the activist realm redefining beauty standards for 23 years and in two decades many things have shifted and some have alarmingly worsened.

The cosmetic, weight loss and surgery industries rely on our feeling "less than" and chasing unachievable standards to make billions annually. Reflecting on the shifts we've made, share my perspective on how to live beautifully and in alignment with our own values, and where we have to go together, culturally, with beauty.

Let's dismantle systems that profit off our self loathing!

Also check out Episode 141: Releasing Guilt and Shame from Fundamentalism, Fat Stigma, and Colonial Programming

Lauren Morgan has been teaching me dreamtending for seven months and the quality of information I'm getting from and able to use from my dreams has increased a thousandfold. Beyond dream interpretation it’s learning the wisdom our dreams are teaching us. She is a font of information about the plant world around us and helps make the gifts of Mother Earth more accessible. She has an incredible book called Seasonal Herbalism, a podcast of her own and online courses. Lauren enriches our sleeping and waking lives and I'm so grateful to work with her! 

The more years I experience, the more healing I do, the less I feel the need to be right or defend myself. I used to be SO defensive that any kind of criticism or loving concern came across as threatening and would shut me down or rile me up.
Our spirit knows mistakes are part of life & will readily say I’m sorry but the ego gets so caught up in defending mistakes it ignores the impact it has on others.
This episode I reflect on not needing to protect myself from how people perceive me. If there's nothing to defend, it feels so free and that comes from an internal sense of safety developed through healing authority trauma. And since filming this a few days ago I've had even more aha moments--more to come on this topic!

Support the podcast:

Sarah Lyn Rogers is a writer whose recent collection of poems, Cosmic Tantrum, delves into codependent and transactional relationships. She also edits manuscripts and helps writers get their own work across the finish line. We talk MFAs as accountability tools (and releasing them when no longer needed), living in Bhutan, Gilmore Girls and Grey Gardens.

Internet sensation, author and fellow advocate for self-kindness Jeffrey Marsh joins me to talk about making difficult choices to prioritize our peace! Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is to choose to go no contact with family. We discuss the new frontier of social media, the distinction between being kind and being "nice" and attention as a human need. If releasing shame is on your personal growth agenda, knowing Jeffrey will multiply your efforts.

Previous episode with Jeffrey: Audio episode 77 & on you tube: https://youtu.be/TOnQl4vCRtw?si=RAi0r2qvD8aUG7is

Jeffrey's website: https://www.jeffreymarsh.com/

Jeffrey on socials: @jeffreymarsh

Support the podcast!

A.P. Looze is a human love letter to a life lived queerly. A performance artist, photographer, textile artist, vexillographer, Akashic records practitioner and so much more… A.P. contains multitudes. Their coming out story is hilarious!

We talk about what it means to embody queerness, how getting rooted in our queer lineages is so vital to the experience. How we center love in our movements. The opening about experiencing light and color as senses!!
A.P. on IG: wahoolooze

Community means you keep showing up! I am feeling very blessed and enriched by my in person and online communities right now. In these times having community is so vital to getting our needs and resources met. Belonging is an actual human need--I talk about how to bring your own safe place to community, how to develop it, the importance of vulnerability and tips for facilitating community.

I also talk about focusing on where our values intersect in community versus politics or identities. I have spoken about identifying your personal values in these episodes: 96 with Colin Bedell and episode 111 (solo) discerning your personal values.

Unconventional life choices during a Saturn Return! Koi is a Taurus, a Burner and an explorer who has figured out life on the road as a car camper and a converted school bus. Van life is totally a learning curve and we talk about problem solving as a digital nomad. How do you care for yourself on the road? Koi is a queer friendly event producer and his (currently in New Mexico but will travel with him) event Pandemonium is linked below!

Koi's blog: https://www.queervagabond.com/

Koi's Hair website: https://www.dread-king.com/

Koi's IG: https://www.instagram.com/queervagabond

Koi's Queer Event IG: https://www.instagram.com/pandemonium_nm

I referenced another episode I released with Meredith about boondocking with a video tour of her sleep-in truck. Episode 112 audio or video here: https://youtu.be/6OlUfjC-LEo

Support the podcast!

We've talked about morning routines (ep 103) and figuring out our values (ep 111) but here I propose less than ten minutes, thrice daily for your optimal peace! I talk about my experience having an intentional routine three times a day and what you could do to brainstorm what your path to peace could be like.

Especially. helpful this time of year because in the Northern Hemisphere this is a great time to strategize and lay down frameworks that will help when we hit Spring!

My annual episode with Scott on the Winter Solstice! What's a glamour? How can we dig a little deeper and shine our light in these dark times?

Please visit with us in our other episodes--I love the progression of a friendship with two growing people over time! Episodes 157, 144, 118, 60 and 14!

Scott's website: https://starandstonellc.com/

Scott on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/ScottKSmith/posts

Scott on IG: @scott_k_smith @starstoneedu

Support the podcast!

Listener question! Do I ever watch old vlogs and videos? How do I feel after having left the hustle bustle of Los Angeles? Following up on Episode 2 about my Gay Divorce and the healing of that heartbreak.

Are the ten core principles of Burning Man an example of how we can create an interdependent society and bring out the best in one another? I immersed myself for the first time in their culture for four days at the Alchemy Burn near Atlanta, GA and I radically received! The feeling of personal freedom is contagious and I had a great time at this fire festival right below the full moon and Jupiter. Thanks to my bestie Rachael for getting me there!

Buy me a treat box from my friend Reiki Baker Manduh! https://sites.google.com/view/manduhsreikibakery

Here's all the things I do to fortify myself against C19, the virus that causes Long C19: https://queerfatfemme.com/2024/08/21/heres-what-im-doing-to-prevent-c19/

Support the Podcast!

Melissa is bisexual, sapphic and polyamorous. She is a coach who helps folks align their values and their lives, navigate heartbreak and build relationship skills. We talk about her coming out story. De-centering men. The academic industrial complex and, with her PhD and my JD, whether and how to pursue higher education. Freelance work and whether to take the plunge. Melissa was raised Catholic and has developed a spiritual practice after leaving The Church (TM). Join us!

Melissa's website: https://www.melissafabello.com/

Melissa's IG: fyeahmfabello

Colin of Queer Cosmos is a Gemini who teaches me how to change the world without taking it too seriously. This is a fun conversation going deep on astrology themes, relational understanding and making jokes and teasing all the Zodiac signs. A Course in Miracles, autonomy, community and my hyper focus on the 1989-1991 birth year microgeneration.

This is a FUN episode! Join us for this long form conversation! (When we finished I couldn't believe we clocked in at 1:44:44! An angel number!)

Previous episodes with Colin: Episode 142 about partner pre-selection https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bevin/episodes/142--Colin-Bedell-of-Queer-Cosmos-Healing-Wounds-and-Partner-Pre-Selection-e1r4f9f

Episode

Previous episode 96 with Colin about values: https://anchor.fm/bevin/episodes/96--Colin-Bedell-of-Queer-Cosmos-Discerning-Values-to-Create-a-Life-Worth-Living-e145hdt/a-a63f69k

Previous episode 68 with Colin about his back story! https://anchor.fm/bevin/episodes/68--Colin-Bedell--Queer-Cosmos-eo7bfk/a-a475usk

Colin's website! https://www.colinbedell.com/

Join Colin's Daily Subscription (I value his voice notes so much): https://www.colinbedell.com/subscriptions

Colin on IG: @queercosmos

Support the Podcast!

"Living authentically is the key that unlocks the door to life!" Dylan returns to the podcast and we talk all things transition, transformation and self trust. Releasing fundamentalism and the wedge to trusting self and your connection to God. Living in integrity through listening to that still, small voice and following our purpose.

Previous episode with Dylan: Episode 51 https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/1s4Q9T4FOMb

Dylan Hill on IG (DM to set up a reading!): https://www.instagram.com/the_dylanhill/

Dylan's Links: https://linktr.ee/the_dylanhill

Dylan's Podcast: The Dylan Hill Show on Spotify or Apple Podcasts

Support the podcast!

I'm hearing propaganda that being queer or trans is being "pushed" onto kids. There's an important distinction between having information about actual human diversity available to people and pushing people into making decisions about a very fluid experience.

Queer and trans people have existed since people have existed, natural human diversity is more fluid and spectrum than white supremacy culture's binary thinking deluded people into believing.
My entire podcast exists to help show lots of different ways to be a happy successful adult!

I invite you to explore the archives and meet people of so many genders and sexualities!

Can you believe it before you see it? Listener question about how I walk with faith and trust in God. (The Goddess, the Universe, Spirit, a life force greater than myself, etc...) I talk a lot about faith in dreams and visions for your life with a brief visualization exercise towards the end to help orient you towards your dreams!

Join us on the virtual porch as we chat faith!

As with all spiritual content on my podcast this is take what you like and leave the rest. It's simply an offering; I have no ambition other than to encourage you to trust your intuition.

Richard Simmons just passed away and Erica and I share a queer freak aerobics root in his workout videos and she reminisces about being in his last workout video and I reminisce about his influence on me in the intro to this episode. Erica and I talk sobriety, exploring who we are in a normie world, processing emotions, dating a cis man while being queer, the heteropatriarchy, officiating weddings, hypnotism, and so much more! Erica is one of one and I hope you enjoy her as much as I do!

Erica on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/workoutwithericanix

All of Erica's Links: https://linktr.ee/workoutwithericanix

Support the Podcast:

In 2024 we are faced with insidious, well organized power grabs from the far right. Sonya is a dear friend of mine who has been a community organizer and activist for more than two decades. She's great at breaking down big concepts in ways I can understand and I hope it will help you, too. It's hard to know what to do to stem the tide of political forces who want to repeal women's right to vote and no fault divorce (for real!) and there's more we can do than we think.

Grab your favorite beverage and join me and Sonya for a great conversation!

Previous episode with Sonya about policing and prisons: Episode 41 https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bevin/episodes/41--Sonya-Mendoza-on-Life-without-Prisons-and-Police-efkgpl/a-a2gjugr

Resources:

Sonya on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sssssspacekitten/

Manduh is back on the podcast talking about the string of miracles that have unfolded since she followed Spirit's guidance to release her day job and focus full time on her Reiki Bakery and Mediumship development. We talk about the Water Heater Miracle of 2024, her mediumship development work at Camp Chesterfield, coming out with no queer experience and her birthday Qveen Herby concert adventure!

Previous episode with Manduh: 155 https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/BMq57jRVoKb

Come to Zoom church with me and Manduh (if you want)!

https://queerfatfemme.com/2023/11/11/come-to-church-with-me-if-you-want/

Manduh on IG: https://www.instagram.com/manduhsreikibakery

https://www.instagram.com/manduhdawn

(DM her for a reading or Reiki healing)

Manduh on FB: https://www.facebook.com/CakesByManduh/

Support the podcast!

Oregon recently legalized facilitated psilocybin journeys and Lisa is back on the podcast talking about them! She is a licensed facilitator and we go through the whole process of taking a potentially life changing journey with plant medicine at the center she works for. We also talk about career pivots and connecting to our loving ancestors with fungi!

Previous episode with Lisa, with her background: Episode 63 https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bevin/episodes/63--Lisa-Snyder--Co-Founder-of-Tokeativity-on-Women--Cannabis-and-Unity-emnv2c

Lisa's website: https://liberadiate.com/

Women's retreat July 12-14: https://www.innertrek.org/july12-14

October 6-8: https://www.innertrek.org/oct6-8

Tokeativity.com

Lisa on IG: @lisalibra

@liberadiate

@tokeativity

Support the podcast!

My relationship with God is my top value. Since relationship is an action word my practice evolves as I evolve. It's been over three years since I did an episode about this and thought an update was due!

My hope is it will inspire you to develop your own spiritual practice (if you want one) and/or give you some ideas of folks to connect to who can help guide you on your path! Grab a notepad!

My blog post about going to online church with me! https://queerfatfemme.com/2023/11/11/come-to-church-with-me-if-you-want/

Previous episodes on this topic:

Episode 85: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bevin/episodes/85--Solo-My-Spiritual-Practice-and-the-folks-who-bring-me-spiritual-nourishment-evfjk2

Episode 4: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bevin/episodes/4--Solo-Spirituality-e5jenv

Support the podcast!

Quality of grief is quality of life! In my belief and how I connect to the ancestral realm, I've received more "I love you" messages from my dad this past year than I did my entire adult life when he was alive! Checking in on my grieving process with y'all.

My previous episodes about dad grief:

Episode 127: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/3P1hOFogSJb

Episode 124: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/nMPoZYwgSJb

And my Patreon post about connecting with ancestors:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/cancer-season-53133765

Support the podcast:

Astrologer, Akashic practitioner, divinator, musician, actuary, gentle human Jonathan Koe joins me on the podcast! We talk about traditional metrics for success versus claiming it for yourself. How to devote to art and spiritual practice without needing an outcome and lots and lots of astrology tid bits.

Jonathan's website: https://www.jonathankoe.com/links/

Jonathan's podcast: Healing the Spirit https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/healing-the-spirit-astrology-archetypes-artmaking/id1610376555

Jonathan on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jonathankoeofficial

Jonathan on Threads:

https://www.threads.net/@jonathankoeofficial

Episode 173 (Solo): Reflection on recent trauma healing https://www.patreon.com/posts/patreon-only-on-103700269

Support the podcast!

Continuing my series digging into the characteristics of white supremacy culture--talking about choosing quality over quantity vs quantity over quality. We live in a society and economy that pushes for infinite scale and likes to put people into boxes. When slowing down and focusing on connection is the more relational, effective and joyful way to live life.

Characteristics of white supremacy culture: https://www.dismantlingracism.org/uploads/4/3/5/7/43579015/okun_-_white_sup_culture.pdf

The Impossible Hamster (and Economic Growth): https://youtu.be/bqz3R1NpXzM?si=QuWIVvjROYRMtgj-

Support the Podcast!

Unmet needs, leveling up, connecting to your guides as a way of making life easier. We all deserve to get our needs met and when our subconscious needs things we aren't getting it creates self sabotage! I learned about that in Leah Garza's Akashic Mentorship (now enrolling for 2024 cohort) and since I've been seeking to meet my unmet needs for affirmation and connection through safe sources, I've been able to level up steadily instead of sinking to self sabotage!

Leah's Akashic Mentorship Info: https://crystalsofaltamira.com/akashic-mentorship

Support the Podcast:

Listener question! Asked about whether I have career regrets from my pivot away from law (which created massive mental and physical chronic health conditions) and into my current career. And when to quit or when to stay the course! This is touching on a special nerve for me right now because I'm needing to seek additional streams of income to supplement my aerobics business right now. Join me on the virtual porch as we deep dive.

Support the podcast!

Life is full of hard conversations--break-ups, asking people out on a date, setting boundaries, revealing vulnerable things about yourself, so many more! I talk about my experience learning to open up to conflict, intimacy, and releasing defensiveness (this was huge). When to have hard conversations versus walking away, when to offer unsolicited advice, and physiological ways to prepare for hard conversations. There's so much avoidable stress the better you get at having hard conversations.

"Blessed are those who are brave enough to make things awkward for they wake us up and move us forward."--Glennon Doyle

Mycellial Economic Solutions: https://queerfatfemme.com/2024/03/22/my-federalist-papers-mycelial-economic-solutions/

Article on symptoms of White Supremacy: https://www.dismantlingracism.org/uploads/4/3/5/7/43579015/okun_-_white_sup_culture.pdf

Support the podcast!

Listener question! Spice Girls as femme icons problematic or empowering? I could talk for eight hours about the invisible handcuffs of shame! About hegemonic beauty standards! About femme as a playground for gender expression, the natural evolution of self expression and not putting limitations on our purpose! Let's play in gender and unlearn the confining shame that hides our gifts!

Should you have questions for further discussion send me an email fatkiddanceparty at gmail!

Support the podcast!

Chrissy is my psychic! She's also a dear friend and from the chosen Millenial micro generation that's incarnated to lead our world! I love hearing how she evolves!

We talk her recent one year Al Anon anniversary (she's on step six now)! Her duolingo streak! Our thoughts on prayer & how much it can help if you're willing. Designing, evolving a Patreon & building community.

Get to know me and Chrissy more through our previous episodes! 29--her background, 137--how to avoid demonic possession, 53--early C19 pandemic predictions!

Learn how to start a Patreon & Discord community: Episode 139

Book a one on one with me by emailing fatkiddanceparty at gmail dot com!

Book with Chrissy Tolley: https://chrissytolley.com/book-now

Join her substack: https://chrissytolley.substack.com/

Chrissy on IG & Threads: @chrissytolley

Support the Podcast!

Habits are the building blocks of our lives! For 2024 I wanted life to be different. I knew I had to be the one to change in order to get different results. I started calling it a "capacity building season" because it felt like a mess but that's how you get going! I knew my systems and priorities were going to need tinkering to actually help with that. I also talk about habit stacking and morning, lunch and evening routines to help you noodle on what can best serve you!

This is my post about habit stacking my afternoon walk with spiritual practices: https://www.patreon.com/posts/practical-magic-78190633

Support the podcast!