Deuteronomy 10:12-22 "What Is Love?"

ContextThis sermon opens a series on marriage, but takes a step back first to define love itself — because the culture has distorted the definition so thoroughly that building a biblical view of marriage requires laying this foundation first.

The Problem with "Love is Love"The cultural slogan "love is love" is logically empty — you can't define a word by using that same word. What the culture really means is: love is whatever I decide it means for me. Over recent decades, we have celebrated the individualization of love, reducing it to "you meet my needs and make me feel good without asking anything of me." This self-centered definition of love must be replaced before any honest discussion of marriage can happen.

Three Dimensions of Love

1. Love is an Act of the Will (Deuteronomy 10)Moses reminds Israel that God didn't choose to love them because they were numerous, righteous, or impressive. God looked at Israel in their sin and rebellion and chose to set his heart upon them anyway. Then he calls Israel to do the same for others — to set their hearts in love upon the sojourner, just as God loved them.

The takeaway: love is a decision, not just a feeling. Romantic feelings fade after about two years — so if love is only a feeling, the culture's answer is to abandon the relationship and chase the feeling elsewhere. God's answer is to choose to love even when the feeling isn't there. This applies in marriage, friendship, parenting, and every other relationship.

2. Love Serves Sacrificially (1 John 3:16-18)On the night of his betrayal, before the Last Supper, Jesus dressed like a servant and washed his disciples' feet. The creator of heaven and earth got on his knees and cleaned the dirt off their feet — as both an act of love and a model to follow.

Sacrificial love costs something real. Sometimes it costs time. Sometimes it costs sleep. Sometimes it costs money. John echoes James in pointing out that seeing a brother in need and walking past with empty words is neither faith nor love. Real love shows up in deed and truth, not just words. And the ultimate example remains Jesus on the cross — the greatest sacrifice for those he loves.

3. Love is Righteous (1 John 5:1-4)This third dimension surprises people. John argues that you demonstrate love for your brothers and sisters in Christ not just by serving them, but by obeying God. Pursuing holiness is an act of love toward other believers and toward the watching world.

The sermon illustrates this with a pointed example: convincing a struggling friend to rob a bank "because God is love" doesn't demonstrate love — it tramples on God's holiness, violates a brother's vows, and teaches the watching world that the gospel doesn't matter. You cannot isolate one attribute of God — love — and use it to override his holiness, righteousness, and hatred of sin. The full context of 1 John 4:8 makes this clear: God demonstrated his love precisely by satisfying his holiness and wrath through the sacrifice of Jesus. Love and righteousness aren't opposites — they work together.

Key TakeawayBiblical love has three inseparable components: we choose to set our hearts on others (will), we sacrifice for them (service), and we pursue holiness on their behalf (righteousness). We won't love perfectly this side of heaven — but through the cross and the power of the Holy Spirit, we have both the model and the power to love the way God calls us to love.

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Behold Your God: Goodness